


Life Is but a Series of Accidents

by nothingisreal



Series: Life Is but a Series of Accidents [1]
Category: Motorsport RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-17
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2019-05-24 17:36:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 42,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14959058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nothingisreal/pseuds/nothingisreal
Summary: There’s so much left to chance, even if we don’t always want to admit it. A split-second decision can change your whole life. Every day is a sequence of accidents. What if you’d left your house five minutes later? What if you hadn’t been able to find your keys or phone? What if you’d taken a different road to work? What if you’d gone out for a drink with your friends instead of sitting at home?What if Maxi had never got on that plane?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first AU I've ever written. And also the first time since very long ago that I'm posting a fic I haven't finished yet.  
> I'll be adding more tags as I write. And the rating will be Mature/Explicit - I don't know which one yet.

It must have been well past one o’clock in the morning, as Maxi woke up with a start again, having almost fallen off the uncomfortable plastic chair for upteenth time in the past three hours. This must have been what Hell felt like. He sighed and shifted, trying to find a reasonably comfortable position but quickly gave up when he realised there wasn’t one.

Ed Sheeran had changed to Mark Forster singing about how it would fine and Maxi wished for that level of optimism. If he was supposed to sit there much longer, he thought his back might give out; or he’d just stick to the fucking chair with the amounts of sweat his body was producing. Didn’t they have air conditioning or something?

He was supposed to have been home by now. But there was a huge storm which meant _bad weather conditions_ , which in turn meant  there an emergency landing, _which was_ why he was sitting in the middle of the Brusselian airport in the middle of the night instead of lying in his bed. With a heavy sigh he glanced at his watch, whose hands seemed to be moving exceptionally slowly. At least he knew he had guessed the time correctly -  a quarter to two. And the storm showed no signs of stopping anytime soon, judging by the thunders which seemed to be coming almost on top of each other.

Deciding to stretch his legs a bit, Maxi pulled his earphones out and shoved them into the pocket of his denim shorts together with his phone. His back and legs protested when he stood up. Having stretched his muscles as much as he could without feeling uneasy, what with so many people around him, he made his way across the departure lounge to where he’d spied a bathroom earlier. Some people were sleeping soundly curled up on the floor, others have gone off to the numerous shops and cafes. Catching the sight of a woman talking on her phone out of the corner of his eye, Maxi wondered briefly how long the battery in his own phone would last. Not very long, he guessed, if he kept listening to the music.

The bathroom seemed to be slightly cooler for some reason, maybe because it was empty. The blindingly white tiles made Maxi narrow his eyes. He felt a headache coming on. Bending over the sink, he splashed some cool water on his face and the back of his neck. Some of the water dripped down onto his T-shirt but he didn’t think it mattered too much since it was already damp with sweat anyway. He got some paper towels and patted his cheeks with them, collecting most of the waterdrops. With a big yawn he made his way back to the sturdy door. Before he could reach for the handle though, someone opened it with such vigour, they swung all the way to hit the wall. Scratch that. They _would have swung all the way to hit the wall, had Maxi not been in the way_.

He was reminded of the times when they’d play dodgeball in primary school as his right arm heated up instantly where he’d taken the hit. It never was his favourite game, to be honest. He gritted his teeth and forced a tight smile onto his lips. “It’s fine,” he assured before the terrified boy could even open his mouth to apologise. “Really.” Maxi couldn’t help laughing, despite the dull throbbing in his right shoulder.

The boy appeared to be about the same age as he was. Maxi noted that but then decided it was much more important how he was quickly turning paler than anyone Maxi had ever seen, staring at the German with wide eyes. He looked so much like he was about to topple over that Maxi actually found himself mechanically revising all he knew about first aid in his head, just in case he decided to faint or something equally undesirable.

“Here,” Maxi said, taking the boy’s arm and leading him over to the sinks where he wetted a paper towel. “I’m Maxi,” he said, extending the towel towards the boy.

“Callum,” the other replied, taking it and then shaking Maxi’s hand. “Sorry for that,” he added sheepishly, nodding at the door. He pressed the cool material against his red cheeks. “I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“It’s fine,” Maxi assured him once again. “It’s late and hot and everybody was expecting to be in Munich by now. I’m not mad,” he added when Callum still didn’t seem to have been convinced.

For a moment it looked like Callum was going to throw his arms around him. Thankfully, he restrained himself. Maxi wasn’t sure how he would have reacted to strangers squeezing him. And in a freaking bathroom of all places.

“Can I buy you a drink?” Callum asked, playing with the towel in his hands, practically tearing it into shreds before he caught himself and threw what was left of it into the bin.

Maxi shook his head with a chuckle. He thought about what he started calling _his_ chair back in the hall and all the music he still hadn’t listened to on his phone. And then he remembered the dying battery and the headache spreading from the back of his neck to his temples, not to mention the T-shirt sticking to his chest in a very unpleasant way. His throbbing arm was the least of his problems. “You really don’t have to.”

“I want to,” Callum said determinedly, his eyes staring straight into Maxi’s.

Maxi bit his lip and shrugged. If that was going to make Callum feel better. Besides, Maxi could use a change. He didn’t know how much longer he’d be able to sit there, staring at the wall. It was the question of what would give in first - his sanity and patience or maybe rather his back. “In that case…” He motioned towards the door, opening it and letting Callum through first. _Just to be safe_ . He didn’t fancy getting more bruises. And fuck, but Callum really _was_ strong. Maxi would probably be feeling it for a couple of days.

“You can tell a lot about people by their drink order, you know,” Callum said as they slowly made their way towards the small restaurant-cafe-bar-thingy. Maxi was at the same time thankful that the emergency landing was in Brussels, because at least it wasn’t some tiny airport where you couldn’t do anything other than sit and stare at the walls (kind of like what he’d been doing for the past several hours), and mad because he was supposed to have got home hours ago. Still, there were worse places for an unexpected stop en-route from London to Munich.

“So what will it be?” Callum asked as they entered the cozy little… whatever it was.

“Water with ice,” Maxi replied without hesitation. He hasn’t drunk anything since before they boarded the plane some four hours ago and now he’d kill for a glass of water. Especially cool water. And maybe some painkillers but he decided to have a drink first and see if it wasn’t just dehydration.

“Low-maintenance, aren’t you?” Callum laughed, his previous embarrassment seemingly forgotten.

Maxi chuckled. “Or just very thirsty.”

“That could be it,” Callum agreed with a grin.

Maxi downed the first glass in one go and only after he’d had it refilled did he agree to find a seat. “You’re German, aren’t you?” Callum asked once they squeezed through the crowd towards a small table in the corner, near a window. Maxi glanced at people pacing back and forth at the other end of the longue.

“Partly, yes. Partly Austrian.”

“Your accent gave you away.” Callum grinned and took a bite of the chocolate cake he’s got for himself. Maxi wondered if he should have ordered something to eat too.

“And you’re British?” He waited for Callum’s nod. “The fact that you ordered tea when it’s at least 30 degrees gave you away.”

Callum laughed and shook his head. “I’ll _bet_ you drank coffee this morning.”

Maxi shrugged. “It’s not the same.”

Callum raised an eyebrow. “Care to elaborate?”

Maxi hesitated. He wasn’t sure how he should get out of this one. “It’s to… wake you up?” It sounded more like a question than an answer and Callum laughed. There was nothing malicious about it. He had such infectious laughter Maxi couldn’t help joining in.

“Coffee doesn’t wake me up,” Callum explained with a shrug. “Tea kind of does though.”

Maxi smiled and raised his hands up. “Okay, fine, you’ve got me. There’s no difference,” he conceded.

“Let’s agree to disagree.” Callum wrinkled his nose. “‘Cause I know you still think you’re right.”

They sat in silence for a moment, Maxi staring out of the window and then back at Callum who was struggling to get some more cake onto his fork. “What?” He asked when he caught Maxi watching him with what had to look like a pretty dopey smile. The guy was… Maxi wasn’t sure what he was - fun? nice? easy to be around? Once you got past the _hitting strangers with doors_ thing.

Maxi blushed and didn’t say anything, his eyes downcast. “We know why _I’m_ going to Munich. What about you?” He asked, partly out of curiosity, partly just needing something to break the silence. Having mostly succeeded in quenching his thirst, he was now sipping his pleasantly cold water.

“I’m not,” Callum replied, taking another bite of his cake. “I mean, I _am_ , obviously.” He paused and furrowed his brows. “I am but I actually want to get to Berlin. For a football match. You know university against university. I’ll spend the whole game on the bench but they were one player short and… _regulations_.”

“So, basically, you’re going on a free holiday?” Maxi asked, leaning back in his chair.

Callum shrugged. “Pretty much, yeah. There weren’t any flights until the day after tomorrow though. So I figured that if I flew to Munich, at least I’d be in the right country.” He drank half of his tea in two big gulps as Maxi stared at him like he’d grown two heads. There was _steam_ coming up from that mug! The guy was insane! Kind of cute though...

“What were you doing in England?” Callum asked, crossing his arms on the table in front of him and cocking his head to the side.

Maxi stammered for a while, still trying to come to terms with the steaming tea and the inhumanly hot weather, before finally he managed to collect his wits. “Internship.” Okay, so he managed to _partly_ collect his wits.

Callum’s eyes lit up. “What do you do?”

Maxi settled for _Engineering_ , not bothering to go into details because he doubted his brain would be up for it in the dead of night. Simple English was hard enough on its own at this hour, he didn’t fancy explaining the details of what he was studying on top of that. Besides, he didn’t know how much Callum would understand anyway.

Thankfully, the answer seemed to please Callum because he didn’t ask anything, settling for finishing his tea.

Before either of them could say anything else, Maxi’s phone buzzed in his pocket.

**Where the hell are you???**

“Everything okay?” Callum asked and Maxi realised he was frowning.

He was trying to decide if Mick was asking because he was worried or if he was just hoping to _appropriate_ Maxi’s car. He snorted at the thought and Callum looked at him quizzically.

“I forgot to let my… _flatmate_ know there was an emergency landing.”

**Long story. Go to bed. I’ll explain when I come back**

“She must be worried,” Callum mumbled. He cleared his throat before Maxi could ask him what he’d said. “Shall we get going?”

Maxi shrugged and gulped down the rest of his water. “If you want.”

Callum nodded slowly, his face carefully blank. It was as if he was in some kind of a trance. “Yes,” he said slowly. Then he shook his head. “Yes, let’s go,” he repeated, this time more confidently.

“It was nice to meet you,” Maxi said as they got up from the table. “Guess I won’t forget it for some time,” he added with a laugh, raising his right arm.

“I’m so sorry about that,” Callum replied, his cheeks going pink again. There was a weird look in his eyes. He seemed to want to add something but then changed his mind. “Take care.”

It was another half and hour of dozing off on that bloody chair before they could get going again. And when the plane took off, the shorter hand on Maxi's watch had just passed three.

As he finally stumbled into his flat in Munich at five thirty in the morning, he didn’t even bother undressing. He just let himself fall onto the couch like a log and fell asleep, not even noticing the springs digging into his side.


	2. Chapter 2

Maxi woke up to a wonderful smell. He rolled onto his back, all the muscles in his body protesting, and his hand came in contact with something soft and warm. Not bothering to move his fingers away from the back of Mick’s neck, Maxi lazily opened his eyes.

“Good morning, Dornröschen.” Mick’s cheerful voice matched the grin on his face, though Maxi didn’t really have to look to know it was there. “Pizza?” Mick nodded at the open box on their coffee table. Well, that explained the smell.

“We’re having pizza for breakfast?” Maxi asked, his voice cracking unpleasantly.

“No, _you_ are. It’s my dinner,” Mick replied, watching Maxi with sympathetic expression as the latter tried to stretch on the couch which was way too small for him so he was forced to push himself up into a sitting position.

That couch, as they had agreed with Mick on numerous occasions before, must have been the work of the devil himself. It was an awful washed-out mustard yellow colour which clashed with the peach-pink of the walls (there were begonias on that wallpaper!). But the aesthetics wasn’t what worried them, there were much bigger concerns. The fabric it was covered with had the texture of sand paper, except much rougher, and way too thin - anyone who dared sit on it had their efforts rewarded by springs digging into their backside. Unfortunately, their landlady loved it (the two of them decided she had been trying to kill them in various ways these past twelve months but that’s another story) and so it had to stay. After sleeping on it for several hours Maxi thought he suddenly understood what it meant to be eighty-something.

“I don’t think I can turn my head anymore,” he complained.

“Ouch,” Mick cringed in sympathy. He swallowed the last of his slice of pizza and then got up to kneel on the couch behind Maxi, his hands immediately going to Maxi’s shoulders. His fingers dug into the stiff muscles and Maxi sighed, slumping back against him. “You’re an actual angel,” he sighed happily, his eyes slipping closed when he wasn’t paying attention.

The next thing he knew was that Mick was shaking him and saying his name, laughter clear in his voice. “I’m not a pillow,” he said teasingly.

“Nah… you’re more comfy,” Maxi teased back but took some of his weight off Mick so that the latter could resume working away the knots in Maxi’s back and neck.

“You must have been exhausted. I was sure that even the dead wouldn’t be able to sleep on this thing.”

Maxi shrugged. “It’d been a long night.”

Mick just hummed in reply and, having managed to loosen up Maxi’s muscles as well as he could, moved halfway off the couch to retrieve the box of pizza. There were four slices left. Mick took one and then handed the box to Maxi, whose mouth watered at the very sight.

They didn’t say anything until Mick finished eating, washing it down with some beer. “What happened?” He asked curiously, leaning against the back of the couch and looking at Maxi.

“Storm,” Maxi said simply, too busy chewing his food to bother talking. Mick seemed to get that and with a small laugh he waited for Maxi to finish. “I was starving,” Maxi noticed with surprise as he put the empty box on the table and reached out towards Mick, who got the clue and generously handed him his beer.

Having drunk the rest of the bottle’s contents, Maxi decided that he was pretty pleased now. He put the empty bottle next to the pizza box and let himself sink against the couch. Then he recounted the story to Mick. Or like… the most important bits.

“What time is- What?!” His question turned out to be mostly rhetorical as he glanced at his watch. “How…?” He took Mick’s wrist to make sure his own watch was broken. Except it wasn’t. “I’ve slept for how long?!”

Mick laughed at Maxi’s obvious distress. “Go take a shower,” he advised, patting Maxi’s shoulder. “You’ll feel better.”

Maxi nodded dumbly, taking his watch off and putting it on the coffee table and then finally kicking off his shoes. He tried not to think of the fact that he’d just slept for over twelve hours. On that hellish couch of all places. Those plastic chairs in the departure lounge were more comfortable than that thing!

“There _is_ more beer, right?” He shouted from the bathroom as he was getting undressed.

Mick snorted. “As if we’ve ever been out of beer,” he shouted back.

Maxi turned on the hot water. Mick always laughed at him taking steaming hot baths even when it was scorching hot outside but Maxi just couldn’t help it. There was something so relaxing about warm water.

He quickly washed himself and then gently fell back against the cool porcelain, closing his eyes with a happy sigh. He could feel his muscles slowly unclenching.

“What’s happened to your arm?” Mick asked as he came into the bathroom several minutes later.

Maxi took the cool beer Mick offered him with a thankful smile and sank deeper into the bubbles. “Hmm?”

“Your arm,” Mick repeated, raising his own. Maxi furrowed his brows at him. Then he saw the red bruises covering his shoulder and he finally realised what Mick meant. Callum must have used more force than Maxi had thought if his arm was already taking on that purplish hue.

“I didn’t tell you about that boy in the bathroom? _Not_ what I meant,” he added quickly when he noticed Mick’s smirk.

“I’ll look for some gel. This is gonna be sore as hell.”

“I’m _already_ sore as hell thanks to our couch,” Maxi shouted after Mick as the latter left the bathroom to rummage about in the medicine drawer in their kitchen.

He came back a couple of minutes later and, taking Maxi’s beer and placing it on the edge of the sink, made his way over to the other side of the room to fetch a towel. “Out with you,” he said, holding it out to Maxi.

Mick waited until Maxi dried himself off and wrapped the towel around his hips before sitting him on the edge of the tub. He unscrewed the cup on the tube and, squeezing some gel out onto his finger, carefully got to work. “What happened in that bathroom? You look like you’ve been practicing martial arts.”

Maxi rolled his eyes. “Just a door.”

Mick’s fingers faltered on Maxi’s biceps as he giggled. Maxi shot him a look but it made no impression on the younger boy. “There,” he said once he decided he was done. “Wait a few minutes until you put on your shirt.”

“Thanks,” Maxi mumbled. He made no move to get dressed even when Mick left the bathroom. It was only when Mick called to him several minutes later to stop _“fantasising about that guy’s arse”_ as he politely put it that he finally heaved himself off the tub and started putting his clothes on to join Mick in the living room so he could tell him the whole story.

 

***

 

Maxi didn’t really think about Callum for the next week or so. Almost as if he’d forgotten him. At first Mick would tease him but then he quickly got bored and Maxi had no reason to think about it anymore. So he didn’t.

He was sitting on the stairs leading up to Feldherrnhalle with Mick, listening to the distant chimes from the town hall. They’d sat on these stairs so many times already and somehow Maxi still was surprised by how he wasn’t sick of it yet. Quite the opposite actually.

He thought that at this hour and in this weather there’d be fewer tourists but he was wrong. Even though most of them had flocked towards Marienplatz as it neared five pm, many were still strolling across the vast expanse of the square. There were times when it was almost empty, but it _was_ the middle of July. People had holidays so crowds weren’t anything extraordinary.

A group of Japanese tourists walked past as Maxi glanced at his watch again. The two of them had been sitting there for at least 45 minutes, waiting for Charles to arrive. It was their usual meeting place because Charles’s sense of direction was… _lacking_ , so they had to settle for places anyone could find.

The sun was unforgiving and Maxi thought he must have lost half of his body weight in water already, he was sweating so much. Mick shifted next to him with a tired sigh, adjusting the baseball cap on his head.

“Is he even coming?” Maxi asked after some more time had passed. Okay, so they _were_ early but only fifteen minutes. Charles was supposed to be here ages ago.

“You know how his sense of time is. Give it five more minutes and I’ll text him,” Mick assured him, taking a big gulp out of his half-empty water bottle.

Just as Maxi was considering going to find the nearest fountain where he could drown himself, Mick nudged him and nodded towards the other side of the Odeonsplatz where Charles was unhurriedly making his way towards them.

“I hate this place,” was the first thing he said as he finally arrived, thirty minutes late and exhausted like he’d just braved the Sahara or the Pacific all on his own.

Mick shrugged. “It’s not even so crowded today,” he said in a tone which suggested how much he didn’t really care either way. Not that Maxi blamed him. It was so hot he felt he was melting. It’s extremely difficult to care about anything in such a weather.

“I meant Munich,” corrected him Charles. Then, ignoring the dirty look Maxi shot him, he plopped down onto the heated stone next to Mick. “Why do we always meet here?” He asked using his hand to shield his eyes from the unapologetic sun as he looked around curiously.

“For you to be able to ask someone for directions when you inevitably get lost on your way here,” Maxi retorted. He felt Mick shake with laughter next to him.

Charles wrinkled his nose, then shrugged. “Fair enough.”

Maxi gave him a once over, wondering just how mad one had to be to wear jeans in this weather. Paired with a black T-shirt. Just looking at Charles made him feel even hotter - and not in the good way - so he averted his eyes, prefering to watch the flags, hoping to see them moved by the wind. But it was so still they wouldn’t even budge a millimeter. Maxi swore to himself that if he survived this summer, he’d buy a one-way ticket to Greenland for the next June.

“The heat seems to make you more cranky than usual,” Mick noted with a teasing smirk, earning himself a punch on the shoulder from Charles who cleared his throat, not bothering to comment on what Mick said in any way.

“I was going to suggest we go for an ice cream or a drink,” Mick went on, “but now I don’t feel like moving anymore.” He sighed heavily and slumped against Maxi’s shoulder some more.

“Never mind,” said Charles, suddenly cheerful, slapping his palms down onto his own thighs with a loud sound and earning himself glares full of suspicion from the two boys. “I’m going to Berlin for two weeks,” he announced. Noticing his friends’ blank stares, he rolled his eyes. “Don’t you want to keep me company?”

“No,” Mick flat-out refused, surprised when Maxi didn’t immediately do the same. They both knew that _keeping company_ was actually code for _giving a lift_ because Charles had never bothered to get himself a driving licence.

Berlin… Maxi tried to stop the unexpected hope blossoming in his chest. That’s where Callum was supposed to be. But for how long? Berlin was huge, the chances of running into him - provided he hadn’t left yet in the first place - were rather slim. But no matter how hard he tried to convince himself that that was the case, his heart wouldn’t stop beating erratically, clouding his reason.

Maxi was so lost in his thoughts, it took him a moment to realise Charles was looking at him with the smile of the proverbial cat who’d got the cream.

“Yeah, okay,” Maxi agreed. He shrugged at Mick who was giving him a look like he thought Maxi had gone mad. “I’ll drive you.”


	3. Chapter 3

Do you ever wonder how your life could have been different? There’s so much left to chance, even if we don’t always want to admit it. A split-second decision can change your whole life. Or maybe a decision you thought would have a huge impact, changes nothing at all. 

Every day is a sequence of accidents. What if you’d left your house five minutes later? What if you hadn’t been able to find your keys or phone? What if you’d taken a different road to work? What if you’d gone out for a drink with your friends instead of sitting at home? You catch the drift.

But, unless you have too much time on your hands and no clue what to do with it, you don’t think about it. You never stop to wonder how much in your life is a coincidence. Now, depending on your view of life, you could take it as a blessing or a curse. But either way, it remains the absolute truth and nobody can do anything about it. 

Such musings accompanied Callum the whole morning until he had to use all his strength of will to fight the urge to bang his head against the wall. He knew thinking could be exhausting but now it just felt like his thought were actively trying to get him killed. With an annoyed huff he dumped some money onto the table and stood up, pushing his chair back from the table with such force it would have toppled over, had it not been for someone who had the misfortune to be standing just behind.

“Sorry,” Callum said quickly in English, before he even turned around to see who it was and if they were okay. This day just kept getting better. What would happen next? A natural disaster?

“I’m beginning to think you have something against me.” Someone said behind him, laughter clear in their voice. A voice that Callum  _ knew _ .

He whipped around so quickly he lost his balance and had to steady himself against the table. “Maxi,” he exclaimed with an uncertain smile, as if he didn’t quite believe the other boy was really there. And, honestly, with the way his day had been going so far, he was more willing to believe he was hallucinating than that Maxi was actually standing in front of him.

“How was the match?” Maxi asked, looking Callum up and down and blushing when he caught himself doing that. Callum didn’t notice.

“Good,” he replied emotionlessly, staring at Maxi as if he was a ghost. “We lost. What are you doing here?” He asked, his tone going from flat to actually interested.

Maxi shrugged and looked away with a chuckle, one of his hands coming up to stroke the back of his neck. “Had some… business. Wanna go for a walk?” He added quickly, hoping Callum would just go with it. He knew that giving a mate a lift probably wasn’t a good enough reason for a five-hour trip so he was hoping Callum wouldn’t pry. 

Callum bit his lip and looked away and Maxi’s stomach dropped. Then he smiled suddenly, looking back at Maxi. “Sure,” he said with a shrug, though it sounded more like a question. Maxi tried not to let this less than enthusiastic response get to him.

They walked in silence for a moment. Neither knew quite what to say. After all you don’t just confess to someone you have been hoping to meet them again after you’ve only spoken once in your life, right? Even if you feel like you’ve known each other for years.

Callum was the one to break the tense silence as they strolled onto a bridge. “Are you here for long?” There was something weird in Callum’s tone as he asked that but Maxi couldn’t quite put his finger on it, so he decided to let it go.

“A couple of hours.” It was more than he was planning to anyway. In truth, he was just supposed to drive Charles there and then go back but, as long as nobody found out, he was fine. If they did find out, he’d be teased mercilessly for weeks before they finally got bored and moved on to something else.

“Oh…” Callum bit his lip and stopped to lean against the railings. 

Maxi propped himself up next to him, staring at the Spree flowing slowly beneath them. “I…” Maxi bit at the inside of his cheek. There was something in Callum’s eyes that told him he wasn’t the only one who was losing his head here. But there were still things that were better left unsaid, at least for the time being. He had to remind himself he had nothing to lose (and quite a lot to gain) several times before he could go on. “Can I have your number?” He asked, unable to look at the other boy.

Out of the corner of his eye he could see Callum raising his head to stare at him and he felt his cheeks go hotter. He focused on the waves gently rolling several meters down. They were slowly making him feel sea-sick (or was that just nerves) but he refused to look up.

“Give me your phone,” Callum said, extending his hand towards Maxi, palm up. Maxi took his phone out of his shorts and handed it to Callum who quickly typed something in. Then he handed it back to Maxi and did the same with his own.

“Fancy a cup of coffee?” Callum asked, suddenly much… lighter than he seemed earlier.  _ Happy _ almost.

Maxi patted his pocket, as if to assure himself his phone hadn’t magically disappeared, and nodded with a smile.

 

***

 

“So you like books,” Maxi said more than asked, raising the cup to his lips.

They were sitting in some cafe, talking about everything and nothing. Callum had told Maxi a bit about himself. He talked about living in London and the impossible rent and how he was studying English.

“Hate them,” Callum replied seriously, never taking his eyes off the piece of paper in front of him. 

Maxi stared at him blankly. Then he jumped with a hiss as some of his forgotten coffee made its way past the brim of his cup and onto his hand. Swearing quietly, he put the cup down and wiped the scorching hot liquid with a napkin. Only then did Callum look up.

“What?” He asked as if it was Maxi who was behaving weirdly and not himself.

Maxi balled the napkin and threw it onto his empty plate. “Why would you study English if you hate books?” He asked incredulously.

With a shrug Callum went back to making marks on his list. “I had to study  _ something _ .”

“I don’t mean to pry,” Maxi started uncertainly after the silence stretched on again, “but is everything alright? You seem a bit… down.”

Callum glanced up at him with a tired smile. “I guess I’m just a bit fed up with it all.”

Maxi cocked his head to the side and considered what was the right thing to say. He needn’t have bothered though as Callum just carried on talking after a short pause to collect his thoughts.

“I’ve got a part-time job as a waiter. You know how it is.” To be honest, Maxi didn’t know. The money he got from his internships was more than enough to pay his bills and then some more. He didn’t think it was something Callum needed to hear though, so he held his tongue and let Callum do the talking. “I don’t really mind too much but I’m afraid I’m gonna be stuck doing that for the rest of my life. Do you like engineering?” He asked suddenly as if he’d just realised something.

Maxi didn’t even need to think about it before he nodded. There was nothing else he’d have wanted to do with his life. He’d been dreaming about it since he was little, there really was no better job for him. 

“You’re lucky,” Callum smiled. Maxi could tell it was genuine, albeit a bit melancholic. There was something in his eyes as he studied Maxi that made the German turn away, clearing his throat and shifting in his seat, doing his best to avoid Callum’s eyes. “I’ve got to do an internship next year.” Callum nodded at the piece of paper before him. “And the options range from terrible to  _ kill me right now _ .”  He laughed softly, his cheeks reddening. “Sorry, I don’t usually complain this much.”

“I don’t mind.”  _ I love listening to you, no matter what you’re talking about _ , he didn’t add but it was a close call. It was there, right at the tip of his tongue and he had to drink some of his coffee just to make sure he wouldn’t say it out loud.

“I really have to go,” Callum mumbled, his eyes fixed on the clock hanging above the counter on the other side of the cafe. “I’ve got to get my things from the hotel.”

Maxi’s face fell. “You’re leaving?” He glanced at the clock over his shoulder and his eyes widened when he realised how late it was. “I guess I should too if I want to get to Munich before midnight.” He looked back at Callum who was still staring at the time determinedly as if he could make it stop if he’d wished hard enough. “Want a lift?”

The question made Callum finally look at him. He grinned, his eyes lightening up. But then, to Maxi’s surprise, he shook his head. “Better not.” He didn’t bother explaining what he meant by that as he got up from the table, motioning for Maxi to stay seated when he moved to follow. He took several steps towards the exit, then hesitated and turned back around. “I’ll text you later.” And then he was gone, leaving Maxi to stare at his coffee with a silly smile on his face and a glint in his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This hasn't been exactly proofread yet. I'll do that soon though.


	4. Chapter 4

There’s something very infectious about happiness. You know how people treat you differently when you’re cheerful? Maybe it’s because a happy person is altogether nicer or maybe because seeing someone smiling genuinely makes them feel better about their own life. Probably some combination of the two. 

If Maxi hadn’t noticed it before, he certainly was now. He couldn’t tell if it was him who just saw the world differently or if others actually  _ were _ being nicer to him but he didn’t think it mattered.

The day he ran into Callum in Berlin, he’d sitten in the cafe for another half an hour before deciding that it  _ really _ was time to get going. Especially with the sky clouding over and the first raindrops falling onto the pavement. It was getting dark very quickly even though the shorter hand on the clock had only just passed six. Maxi went to pay for the coffees and the nice elderly lady at the counter charged him half the price for  _ being such a charming boy _ . Maxi just smiled at her widely and more than a little embarrassed and made the spontaneous decision to buy some biscuits for the journey. 

He arrived in Munich just after midnight, where the weather was even worse. It took him ten minutes to find a parking spot. Obviously, he then had to walk another ten minutes to his flat. When he finally stumbled into the living room/hall, he was dripping water all over the linoleum. He was surprised to find Mick sitting on their couch in the dark, his face lit up by the laptop on his lap. The whole image looked kind of sinister. Or at least as sinister as Mick could ever look. Maxi had kind of forgotten Mick even existed to be honest, which was the only reason his presence took him by surprise.

Mick was great, seriously. Maxi loved him, would do anything for him. But there were just some things… 

“Mick! I haven’t even been gone  _ one  _ day!” Maxi exclaimed as he stared at the dump, which used to be their living room, with wide eyes. “What’s happened here?”

Mick shrugged. “What do you mean?”

Maxi looked at him and then back at the pile of clothes on the floor and an empty pizza box and several squashed water bottles and then closed his eyes, shaking his head as if that would make the images before him disappear. But no, when he opened them again, nothing had changed.

“I’m not cleaning this up,” he muttered, determinedly making his way to the bedroom.

“Did you meet him?” Mick shouted after him as Maxi was closing the door to his room. He felt his cheeks go hot.

“I’ve no clue what you mean,” he said. Mick’s laughter convinced him that the younger boy didn’t believe him for a second.

He put his phone on charge and went to take a much needed shower. He was surprised to find Mick no longer playing with his laptop. He seemed to really be cleaning which was something Maxi hadn’t expected to see. Ever. At Maxi’s questioning stare, he just shrugged. 

“Thought I’d be nice to you. You must be tired,” he explained, throwing some bottles into the bin. 

Maxi shrugged. “I like driving.”

“That’s not what I meant.” Mick laughed with a wink. Maxi picked up a cushion from the floor and threw it at his friend. Then he quickly locked himself in the bathroom so that Mick wouldn’t see his dopey grin.

 

***

 

There were ten new messages on his phone when he got back to his room. Apparently, Callum had texted him as soon as they parted. Maxi refused to dwell on how the realisation made him feel unexpectedly warm. 

“Don’t be  _ too _ loud!” He heard Mick shouting from his own room. “I can hear everything.”

Maxi considered briefly getting up to throw something at him again. In the end, he settled for rolling his eyes. He lay there, staring at the ceiling with a small smile. Callum was supposed to text him as soon as he landed. 

There were some noises in the next room which Maxi assumed to be Mick… it was better not to think about what Mick was doing. The familiarity of it all made Maxi feel a bit more calm, settled. It was the opposite of how he felt when he thought about Callum. Either way, this was the happiest, most content Maxi had felt in a very long time.

 

***

 

His days were spent either talking to Callum or waiting for the time he could talk to him. Obviously, October had to come eventually and he was forced to think about thermodynamics and trigonometry and fluid mechanics and other things which now struck him as too… unimportant. And that’s something he’d never thought he’d be calling engineering. Yes, he did love it and was happy to work on it but it also kept him away from spending all his time staring at the phone and waiting for it to ring. 

He spent Christmas with his parents. His mother made him eat his body weight in cake and he drank at least three bottles of mulled wine and it was all perfect. Well,  _ almost _ perfect. There were some people missing. He could survive without Mick, they’d celebrated Christmas earlier, before they both went home. And Charles had promised to spend the New Year’s Eve with them. But the lack of Callum was beginning to get to Maxi.

Still, as much as he loved living in Munich he did miss his parents quite a bit. It was nice to finally be able to spend a whole week with them. He returned to his little flat with bags full of food and a huge grin plastered on his face. It seemed to be permanently stuck there since summer.

He knew something was off the moment he opened the front door. Mick had that  _ cheshire cat _ grin on his face which only widened when he saw Maxi. Charles was sitting next to him on the sofa, their thighs pressed together. And then Maxi glanced at the armchair and almost dropped the bags. 

Callum was staring at him with equally dumbfounded expression. 

“Hi,” Maxi said though it came out more as a question. 

“Maxi, this is-” Charles jumped up to make the introductions but Callum cut him off.

“We’ve met,” he said with an uncertain smile which Maxi returned. Callum’s cheeks were turning pink. Seeing him for the first time in six months did things to Maxi. He had to forcefully remind himself they weren’t alone in the room. That and how they were just friends. 

Mick glanced from Maxi to Callum and then back again. Maxi thought that, had they been in a cartoon, he’d be seeing a huge light bulb flashing above Mick’s head. He sighed in defeat, his shoulders slumping. 

“Oh…” Mick exclaimed, the corners of his mouth raising slowly. He looked at Charles with a smirk. Maxi couldn’t be sure but he guessed he was promising to explain everything to Charles later. They had that annoying ability to communicate without actual words. It was as creepy as it was impressive. 

“Callum’s gonna live here,” Mick announced, looking back at Maxi. His grin was so big now, it looked like his face was about to split in half. “For the whole semester.”

“If you’ve nothing aga-”

Maxi shook his head before Callum could finish the sentence. “Of course not,” he assured, trying to make his voice sound more level and not like he wanted to jump from joy.

“I’ve got an internship. As an English teacher.”

“And I’m going back to Berlin for a couple of days,” said Charles with a smirk which almost matched Mick’s. The two exchanged knowing glances and Maxi had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. They were as subtle as a hoard of elephants in a china shop. 

“I’ll give you a lift.”

Maxi waited until they both disappeared. He even opened the front door to check if they’d really gone. Callum was staring after them with a puzzled expression.

“He’ll be gone at least for a couple of days,” Maxi informed him, “Mick, I mean.” He finally put the bags down by the door. He only just noticed the aching in his arms. 

It was true that whenever both Charles and Mick disappeared they tended not to reappear until some time had passed. Maxi never asked what they did. He sometimes wondered but quickly came to the conclusion he was better off not knowing. 

“Sorry,” Callum mumbled, his cheeks reddening even more. “If I had known you lived here…”

Maxi’s stomach dropped. “I’m glad you’re here,” he said. It was a rather bold move, not quite like him. But Callum’s whole face lit up before Maxi had the time to consider whether it was wise to put his heart on the line like this. 

The air suddenly grew thick. Maxi needed a way out  _ now _ or else he might have done something stupid. “Would you like some wine?” He asked, directing his steps to the kitchen without waiting for a reply. He heard Callum following not far behind. 

Maxi busied himself with heating up the drinks, all the while feeling Callum’s eyes on him. 

“I didn’t realise you knew Charles,” the German said when the silence became too much for him to bear.

“Met him through a mutual friend,” Callum said dismissively. “I’ve missed you,” he added. Maxi came very close to burning himself on the pot. With shaking hands he poured the wine into two mugs and handed one to Callum who smiled at him. Maxi wondered what he should say when there was a loud noise coming from the living room followed by a curse which made Maxi’s blush deepen.

“I’m fine,” Mick shouted from where he presumably tripped on Maxi’s bags. 

Maxi stared at the closed kitchen door in shock as if he could see Mick through them. It had taken him no more than fifteen minutes to come back.

When he appeared in the kitchen a short while later he was already grinning widely as if he hadn’t almost killed himself trying to enter his own flat. Maxi gaped at him. His brain refused to accept Mick’s quick return. It had never happened before.  _ Not once _ .

And then it finally hit him and he almost spilled the wine on himself.

Mick was there to spy on them. It was the optimistic version. The worst case scenario was him trying to get Maxi and Callum to… Maxi wasn’t  _ quite _ sure what but he had a fair idea that it would be something not particularly decent.

“We should figure out the sleeping arrangements,” Mick announced, flashing Maxi his best “innocent” look. “I’ll sleep on the couch.”

Maxi narrowed his eyes. Anyone willingly offering to spend any amount of time, let alone the whole night,  _ let alone _ six months on that monstrosity was bound to be suspicious. Especially someone who knew exactly what it meant. Maxi was just opening his mouth to say something when Callum beat him to it.

“It’s cool, I’ll take the couch.  _ Really _ ,” he added when he saw that both Maxi and Mick were going to protest.

With a shrug Maxi downed half the glass in one go, ignoring his tongue and throat burning at the temperature, and narrowed his eyes at Mick who was still grinning more than could be considered normal even for him. 

 

***

 

Maxi spent half the night tossing and turning. He had just looked at the time again (2 a.m. - he’d been lying there for three hours) when the door to his room opened. Maxi sat up and stared at the entrance curiously, even though he couldn’t see much other than the silhouette. The blinds in his room were drawn, as were the ones in the living room. The only sources of light was the digital clock on Maxi’s nightstand, but it was too faint to illuminate anything other than the numbers.

“Can I come in?” Callum whispered, shoving his head in the gap. “I heard you closing the window and I figured you couldn’t sleep either.”

“Sure,” Maxi whispered. He hadn’t heard any sounds coming from Mick’s room for quite some time now but he could have just missed them. And he knew what conclusions Mick would draw if he knew Callum came to him in the middle of the night. But he didn’t feel like worrying about it. “Sit down.” Maxi patted the mattress next to him.

Callum settled next to Maxi. “I can leave if you want,” Callum offered. Maxi got the impression he didn’t mean just the room.

“Of course I don’t.”

Callum studied him for a second, lips parted. Then he shifted so that he was sitting more comfortably, facing Maxi. “If you mean it…”

“I do,” Maxi assured him.

Callum smiled at him gratefully. He played with a loose thread on Maxi’s covers. Watching his fingers, Maxi had to shake off some very unwanted thoughts. A bed squeaked in the room next to his.

“I don’t mean to sound rude,” Callum broke the silence, effectively preventing Maxi from wondering what Mick was doing any longer, “but that couch is…”

“The work of the devil himself,” Maxi finished for him with a sympathetic smile and a nod. 

Callum looked at Maxi’s double bed longingly. “Something like that,”  he agreed.

“Want to swap?” Maxi asked without hesitation. It’s not like he was sleeping so great anyway so it didn’t make any difference to him.

Callum widened his eyes and shook his head quickly. “No, it’s okay. I’d never kick you out of your bed to sleep on that…” he seemed lost for words once more.

Maxi bit his lip, studying Callum closely. He had to be careful choosing his next words. He didn’t want Callum to get the wrong idea. “We could share,” he suggested, trying to sound nonchalant and missing by a mile. “If you’re okay with that,” he added quickly when Callum gaped at him. It was too dark to be certain but he thought Callum’s cheeks had gone several shades darker. He knew his own were burning up.

“You don’t mind?” Callum asked, his voice not much louder than a whisper.

Maxi chuckled. Some of the tension in the room dissipated. “I asked, didn’t I?”

Callum gave him a warm smile as he slid under the covers next to Maxi, who had moved over to make more room for him.

“Thanks.”

“Anytime.” Maxi wondered if Callum realised how much he really meant by that.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I _will_ be rewriting/heavily editing this once I get the whole thing done. And by now I have a fair idea of how long it's probably going to be.

Sometime during the night they must have moved because Maxi woke up to Callum draped over his chest. According to the clock it was still inhumanly early, at least considering the hour at which Maxi finally went to sleep. Careful not to wake Callum up, Maxi untangled himself and sneaked out, tugging his T-shirt down his boxers self-consciously. 

He almost got a heart attack when something crashed in the kitchen. With his hand on his chest, Maxi pushed the door open. Mick was standing on his tiptoes, his state of undress matching Maxi’s, trying to reach a box of cereals on the higher shelf. The crashing sound must have been the metal coffee container which rolled towards the door where Maxi picked it up. Since Maxi was the one who drank coffee more often, he didn’t bother putting it in places Mick could easily reach.

“Why aren’t you asleep?” Maxi whispered (probably excessively since Mick had made enough noise to wake up the dead), automatically reaching for the cereals and handing them to Mick. He was met with a slightly exasperated expression - Mick didn’t enjoy being shorter than others when it was this early. Other then that he seemed not to mind too much. The frown quickly disappeared though, replaced by a knowing smirk.

“Unlike you,  _ I _ slept last night.”

Maxi sighed and rolled his eyes. “Jealous?” He asked with a smirk of his own. Mick’s face fell.

“Damn you,” he muttered but he looked mildly impressed. “You win. It’s too early for being a smartass. Pass the milk.”

Maxi made tea while Mick got two bowls of milk and threw some cereals into them. They ate in silence. Having drunk half his cup of tea, Mick finally began to look more like himself and less like a exceptionally drowsy ghost. It was all so painfully familiar, Maxi had almost forgotten about the boy sleeping in his bed. Unfortunately, the same couldn’t be said about Mick.

“Honestly though,” Mick said, watching Maxi washing the dishes, “he’s in your room, right?” There was no teasing in his voice anymore. Maxi wondered what it meant.

“Yes, he’s in my  _ bed _ .” He decided to spare them the pointless questions. “No, we didn’t do anything other than sleep.” He turned off the water and wiped his hands on his pants. 

“But you-” 

Maxi felt like he could kiss Callum in that moment when he walked into the kitchen. Perhaps unsurprisingly, he was the only person who had actually bothered to put a pair of jeans on. Mick had no choice but to shut up. Okay, so to be honest, it  _ was _ Mick which meant that, had it been sometime past noon, he probably would have carried on with the interrogation anyway. Actually, he might have even been pleased to have the two of them together to molest them both at the same time. But, thankfully, it was only eight o’clock so he settled for a curt  _ good morning _ and finishing his tea. 

“We’ll talk later,” he promised Maxi (it sounded a lot like a threat) but for once Maxi was glad because he had some questions for Mick too. “Tea?” Mick asked Callum who was looking back and forth between the two of them like a spooked animal. 

“Yes, please.”

“Maxi, make him some tea, would you?”

Callum widened his eyes but Maxi didn’t even blink. He’d had enough time to get used to Mick. There was very little that could still surprise him. He prepared a cup of tea, no sugar, and placed it in front of Callum where he’d sat on one of the chairs. He was squirming under Mick’s stare. Maxi cleared his throat meaningfully and Mick finally looked away. He muttered something under his breath which sounded suspiciously like  _ spoilsport _ .

Hoping Mick wouldn’t go back to staring at Callum as soon as his back was turned, Maxi decided to clean out the fridge. The last time anyone did that was the previous spring. He and Mick knew that but Callum didn’t. Maxi felt the need to keep up  _ some _ appearances, at least for the time being. And avoiding food poisoning was a nice bonus.

“Is Charles in Berlin?” Callum asked, wrapping his hands around the warm mug. 

Mick nodded. “He was working.” He glanced at the clock on the wall. “I should get going soon. I promised to pick him up.”

Callum frowned in thought as if he’d just realised something. “What does he do?” 

Maxi paused where he was bent in half, examining the last shelf in the fridge. He turned around to look at Mick, a carton of orange juice whose expiration date was sometime several months ago in one hand. “That’s a very good question,” he agreed. He poured the contents down the drain, trying not to cringe too much and, having thoroughly washed his hands, took a seat at the table between the two boys. “I’ve known him for years and I still don’t know what he does. Just that he travels quite a bit.”

Mick was blinking, his mouth opening and closing but no sound coming out other than weird high-pitched squeaks. His cheeks were turning a worryingly crimson colour. “I… uhh…” he stuttered, practically jumping out of the chair. “I should get dressed,” he mumbled. “I really have to leave soon.”

The two of them sat there glancing at each other before Maxi couldn’t take it anymore and got up to finish cleaning out the fridge. Then he realised he’d already done that and was forced to sit back down. Several minutes after Mick had disappeared they heard the front door slam shut, leaving them sitting there in stunned silence. Callum licked his lips and cleared his throat. “Mick is… umm…”

Maxi nodded solemnly. “You’ll learn to love him.”

The expression on Callum’s face said he didn’t quite believe him but he didn’t argue.

 

***

 

It was strange how comfortable they were around each other. Scratch that. It  _ should have _ been strange how comfortable they were around each other.  At least with no Mick around. But Maxi didn’t even think about that until he found himself alone. 

He was in the middle of taking a shower when it finally hit him that the two of them practically didn’t know each other. They texted regularly ( _ more than was healthy _ , an annoying voice in Maxi’s head whispered) but they really met only twice. 

And yet, after the initial awkwardness, talking to Callum felt like talking to an old friend. It wasn’t much different than spending time with Mick. Except he didn’t particularly want to have sex with Mick but that was a problem for another day. One thing at a time.

They even shared a bed for fuck’s sake. And not in the dirty way. Maxi wasn’t sure what to make of all this. Still, it was much better than acting like a schoolboy crushing on someone for the first time. Was that what it was? Did Maxi really have a crush on that guy he barely knew?

Mick liked to tease him about it. But Mick also liked to teased him about his jeans not being tight enough or about spending too much time on studying. Except this time… There was more intent behind it and Maxi didn’t know what it should mean to him. There was, however, a sinking feeling in his stomach when he thought about Mick and Charles the previous day. He couldn’t shake off the feeling that there was something off with those two. 

 

***

 

“Are they an item?” Callum asked later that afternoon. They were sitting cross-legged on the floor, backs propped against the couch, a box of pizza on the coffee table in front of them. The TV was on and Callum had been so busy frowning at it, he failed to notice the bit of cheese sliding down the slice of pizza he’d been holding in his hand for at least five minutes without taking a bite. 

At the question Maxi glanced back up at his face, then at the screen. ZDF was on, some documentary about second world war, judging from the picture of Churchill and Stalin. Maxi hadn’t bothered to listen.

“I highly doubt it.”

Callum looked puzzled for a moment, then like he wanted to slap his hand against his forehead. Thankfully, he didn’t. He would have ended up hitting himself in the face with either some pepperoni or a bottle of beer. “Not. What. I. Meant,” he said. “And  _ yikes _ ! What the fuck, Maxi?” He looked suspiciously like he was trying very hard not to laugh. Maxi felt warmer all of a sudden. Might have been the beer but he suspected it had something to do with the way Callum said his name or maybe the way the corners of his mouth were curling up because of him. 

“What  _ did  _ you mean?” He asked, bringing his own beer to his lips.

“Charles and Mick,” Callum said as if that was obvious. 

Maxi started coughing uncontrollably. “What the fuck?” He managed to gasp out. Callum shot him  _ a look _ . Maxi put down the empty bottle and closed the equally empty box, considering the question and trying not to let the incredulity cloud his judgment too much.

“Fair enough,” he agreed eventually. “I don’t know. I don’t think so?”  _ Maybe? _ He added the question to the ever-growing list of things he needed to ask Mick. 

“Why are you here?” The question slipped out without Maxi consciously deciding to ask it. He realised how rude it sounded even though Callum didn’t look offended. “Sorry, I mean…”

“Don’t apologise.” Callum laughed. “It was either this, some primary school in Wales or rural China. I’m serious,” he exclaimed when Maxi couldn’t help himself and burst out laughing. “No sympathy,” he muttered, shaking his head but there was a smile on his face. 

“I take it you’re not fluent in Chinese?” Maxi asked teasingly.

Callum snorted. “Same could be said for my German, though.” He bit his lip, looking like he’d just realised something. “Can you help me with that?” 

Maxi frowned. “Don’t you have to speak German to get a job as a teacher?”

Callum shrugged. “Not if it’s EFL. Not if it’s not at school,” he added. He considered something for a moment, playing with the label on his beer. “Besides, it’s just an internship. They’ll probably expect me to stand there and look pretty.”

Maxi had to bit on his tongue,  _ hard _ , to stop himself from saying something stupid like  _ you’ll nail it then _ or  _ you’re doing great right now _ . He shook his head. Callum was saying something to him and from the amused look on his face Maxi assumed he’d been trying to get his attention for a while. “Sorry?”

Callum smiled at him warmly. “Will you help me? With my German?” He added when Maxi stared at him blankly.

“Oh,” he exclaimed. “Sure.” He considered his next statement for a moment before deciding it couldn’t hurt. “I can also show you around Munich if you want.”

Callum’s smile softened. Maxi might have imagined it but Callum seemed to glance at his lips for a split second. It was enough to leave Maxi’s chest feeling tight all of a sudden.

“I’d like that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The rating might go up too but I'm not one hundred percent sure just yet.


	6. Chapter 6

Mick and Charles returned the day before New Year’s Eve which gave Maxi plenty of time to show Callum around Munich (or at least part of it) and teach him some basic German. Mostly swearings. He had his reasons though. Or at least one. It was called Mick Schumacher. Not that Maxi didn’t trust him but he had a nagging suspicion Mick would be more than happy to teach Callum. And  _ accidently _ forget to tell him he was teaching him stuff you would never use in a polite conversation. So… yeah, he didn’t trust him.

Charles did spend the New Year’s Eve with them as promised. And the New Year’s Day. And then the next fortnight even though the classes had started again and Mick had his head permanently stuck in a book just as much as Maxi. Towards the end of week three Maxi finally decided to ask Mick about it.

“He’s probably gonna stick around for a bit,” Mick muttered, eyes fixed on the kettle. 

“How long’s  _ a bit _ ?”

Mick shrugged. “A bit?”

“This is a two-person flat,” Maxi exclaimed, looking over his shoulder at the kitchen door as if to make sure no one had suddenly appeared there. It was Wednesday and the sun was about to reach zenith but neither Callum nor Charles felt the need to get up yet. Even though both Maxi and Mick had already had their morning lectures and were about to leave again soon. They didn’t even bother taking off their boots which meant there were muddy footprints all over the floor.

Mick rolled his eyes and put the teabags into two mugs, pouring hot water over them. “Are you seriously complaining?” He handed one of the mugs to Maxi and pushed him towards the living room and then out onto the balcony. It was cold to put it mildly but the walls in the flat were paper thin. Here they could at least talk at normal volume instead of whispering.

“The better question is why you apparently aren’t?” Maxi asked, pulling one of the chairs from the small round table to sit on it. Mick mirrored his actions, but not before a tiny snowball hit the back of Maxi’s head. He made a mental note to get even later, now settling for sitting there, looking at Mick expectantly. 

Mick pulled the sleeves of his jumper down over his hands and gripped his mug, trying to warm himself up a bit. They were sitting as close as possible without actually being on top of each other. Still, Maxi felt Mick shifting even closer anyway. 

Maxi was about to repeat the question when Mick finally shrugged. He spoke slowly, as if weighing his words carefully. Which in itself was extraordinary. Mick wasn’t the diplomatic type. At least not with his friends. “Look… if you really hate sleeping with Callum, I can kick Charles out onto the couch.”

Maxi didn’t know what the correct response to that would be so he settled for sipping on his still a bit too hot tea. Apparently no reply was a good enough reply for Mick. “See what I mean,” he said with a grin. 

Maxi mumbled something under his breath which sounded very much like  _ dick _ , prompting another laugh out of Mick. 

The door to the balcony opened and Callum shot them a weird look. “Are you two trying to catch your death out here?!”

They heard Charles shouting from inside the flat. “They do that!”

Callum looked over his shoulder with a raised eyebrow. “What? The sitting on the balcony when it’s below the absolute zero thing?” There was some laughter in his voice. Maxi couldn’t help smiling even as he mumbled something about it not being that cold. He was aware of Mick staring at him with a knowing grin.

“It’s cozy,” Mick retorted as if he wasn’t shivering all over and huddling so close to Maxi he was practically in his lap.

“I can see that,” Callum muttered before disappearing back inside.

The smirk on Mick’s face was familiar but Maxi didn’t know what to make of the look he was shooting him. “What?”

“Well, we’ve got to go or we’ll miss the U-Bahn,” he said. And then, lowering his voice, “don’t make him  _ too _ jealous.”

He had gone inside before Maxi could ask him what he meant.

 

***

 

He should have noticed something was off when he suddenly found himself turning up the heating and putting on another sweatshirt in the first week of February. His nose felt a bit clogged but he just got some more tissues. He had to go to the chemist’s to buy some painkillers for his headache and maybe lozenges for his throat anyway. He would go to sleep at eight but Mick had to wake him up in the morning anyway after Maxi had slept through three alarms.

But he only admitted there might be something wrong with his health when he walked into the kitchen in the second week of February, wearing his thick socks and jumper which were now part of his usual home attire, and wrapped in his blanket only to find a shirtless Mick having lunch at the table. His cheeks were as red as Maxi’s nose. There were… a few explanations. But Maxi didn’t suspect Mick of doing unspeakable things in their kitchen and they were alone in the flat so he had no other choice but to admit he was sick.

So he didn’t even protest when Mick herded him back into the bed, wrapped him in another blanket, which allowed him to finally turn the heating down just a little bit, and then returned with some hot tea with honey and lemon and a thermometer in the other hand. If there was something nice about being ill it was the way Mick would just happily take care of him. Still, Maxi would have rather got a head start on his projects for the uni but it was enough to see the temperature on the thermometer to shut him up for good. Mick glared at him a bit but didn’t say anything and Maxi added that to the list of things to be grateful for. He took the aspirin handed to him, albeit not without some difficulty what with his tongue feeling like a sponge, and went to sleep.

He didn’t leave his bed for a week, forcefully pushing away the guilt he felt about not studying. He did, however, convince Mick to get him some notes so that he could at least read through the new material. When he finally did get up, he was feeling mostly okay, even though his throat was still sore and his nose runny. The thought of a hot bath was enough to make him feel slightly better. He found Callum in the living room, having just returned home.

“Where’s Mick?” Callum asked, rubbing his arms as if that would warm him up. Maxi couldn’t be sure, having spent the past week inside, but, judging by the amount of snow he could see out of the window, it must have been pretty cold.

Maxi shrugged. “Went out with Charles.”

Callum raised his eyebrows. He didn’t have to actually ask the question out loud for Maxi to get what he was wondering about. He shrugged again. “Either they’re fucking or scheming against us, you decide.” He considered it for a moment. “Or both,” he added.

Callum’s frown suggested he wasn’t really happy to have such images put in his head and Maxi almost had to laugh. “Let’s not think about it,” Callum said, shaking his head. “You have a date?” He asked suddenly. Maxi noted his cheeks had gone darker.

“A date?” He repeated dumbly. He didn’t know what to make of Callum being suddenly interested in his love life. Maybe there was something about his old worn out T-shirt, a pair of tracksuit bottoms, unwashed hair and runny nose which suggested he was going out.

Callum laughed and Maxi got the impression it was at him. He couldn’t bring himself to be mad though. “It’s Valentine’s Day.”

Maxi blinked, his lips parting slightly as he processed that piece of information. “Oh…”  _ Oh… _ that was… he had totally forgotten about it. Not that it particularly mattered. Unless he fancied going on a date with one of his mates from lab and discussing the last project they got. He decided not to dwell on how it didn’t sound like such a bad idea. 

But why was Callum…? Maxi shouldn’t have gone there. His idiotic hopeful brain was bound to come up with one explanation and refuse to let it go. And obviously it did. He shifted, suddenly uncomfortable and hyperaware of how you could really see he had been ill for weeks.

“No,” he said, his voice sounding strangled and it had nothing to do with the flu, “I don’t.”

“Neither do I.” Callum suddenly seemed more interested in the zip of his sweatshirt than anything else.

Maxi stood there, in the middle of the room, wondering if someone was going to break that suffocating silence. And if it was possible to actually die of suspension. Or embarrassment, whichever ended him first. Thankfully, Callum seemed to have the guts for both of them.

“So what’s the plan?”

Maxi gaped. Callum finally dared to meet his eyes and was staring at him unflinchingly, with determination Maxi had never seen him display before. Maxi couldn’t find his voice again.

“I don’t know,” he mumbled, eyes wide. He kind of wished he was still sick just so that he would have avoided these questions and this unbearable awkwardness. “I was just going to take a bath,” he added honestly.

The corners of Callum’s mouth twitched. “That’s a great idea.” Something in Maxi’s expression must have given away how startled he felt because Callum couldn’t stop himself from laughing openly any longer. “You do that,” he added and Maxi’s imagination was forced to backtrack. “I’ll get us food. Fancy some pasta?” He asked, getting up from the couch and looking at Maxi expectantly. He rolled his eyes. “ _ Maxi _ ,” he said forcefully, “you’re overthinking this.” 

Maxi blinked. “I am? I mean,” he corrected himself quickly, “I am. Pasta’s fine,” he mumbled even though Callum was already making his way to the kitchen. Ignoring the heavy feeling in his chest, Maxi convinced himself that hot water would  make it go away. And how it had nothing to do with him wishing Callum really had meant what Maxi thought he did.

 

***

 

Callum had taken to watching animated movies for kids. Maxi wasn’t mad at all. Not only because they were actually fun but also because he loved how excited Callum got about them. He actually got most of the dialogues by now. Sometimes he’d ask Maxi about some words and expressions he didn’t know. Which on one hand made Maxi feel warm inside but on the other meant he had to focus on the TV and not on Callum like he tended to. In the end, he found a nice middle ground. He could just listen to the TV and look at Callum. As long as he didn’t get too lost in his thoughts, it was all fine.

He was really glad Callum had thought of the dinner because he didn’t realise he was starving until he saw the bowl of pasta in front of him. It came with a cup of tea and Callum’s company and suddenly Maxi felt great. Apparently, Callum worked better than any drugs Mick had been feeding him this past week and for which was really grateful. Left to his own devices, he’d probably just eat some soup, drink lots of tea and take some pills for his headache from time to time.

The film had just ended when Callum’s phone started vibrating on the coffee table in front of them. Callum picked it up and glanced at the screen, his thumb hovering over the  _ reject _ button. Then he saw the caller’s ID.

“Oh…” there was no hint of a smile on his face any longer. “Sorry, I should take this.” He disappeared in Mick’s room. Or what used to be Mick’s room. Maxi’s flu forced a temporary change of their sleeping arrangements. Callum had to be kicked out of the room, so Mick agreed to sleep on the couch and give his bed to Callum. Needless to say, it came with Charles. Despite Callum’s suggestion that they change so that Mick wouldn’t have to have his back broken every night, Mick refused. Maxi seriously admired this level of… he didn’t even know what but he was sure that when the time came he’d have to spend the rest of his life repaying Mick for all the nice things he’d done. Or maybe sell a kidney and literally repay him? He’d think about it later.

Apparently, Callum hadn’t realised yet that going to an adjacent room afforded no real privacy. So Maxi decided he should give him some. He collected their dirty plates and went to the kitchen. He was mentally preparing himself for mountains of dirty dishes and layers of dust but it was spotlessly clean, save for some cutlery and two plates in the sink. Maxi put on the kettle and busied himself with the washing up, waiting for Callum to come back. He purposely made more noise than was strictly necessary.

The dishes had been cleaned and dried and half of Maxi’s tea was already gone when Callum finally did return. He tried to smile at Maxi, or maybe rather at the window over his shoulder, but it came out weak. “Sorry about that.”

“What’s wrong?” Maxi asked before he could consider whether he was overstepping some lines and prying.

Callum met his eyes, more out of shock then anything. Apparently, such questions weren’t usual for Maxi. “It’s nothing,” he said. The smile was more convincing this time but the words weren’t. But Maxi was smart enough to get the message and let it go. 

“The water’s still hot if you want another cup of tea.” 

Callum’s grateful smile convinced him it was the right thing to do. But as much as it seemed to calm Callum down not having to talk about it, Maxi couldn’t help the uncomfortable tightness in his chest. He made a mental note to ask Callum about this one day. He didn’t know what it was but for some reason his guts were telling him he was missing something. Something important.

 

***

 

Later that evening Callum confessed how relieved he was to finally return to Maxi’s room.

“He hogs all the blankets,” he complained, throwing the dirty pillow cases onto the floor. Maxi had been meaning to change the sheets for weeks now but didn’t get round to it until now. “I don’t know how Mick puts up with it.”

Maxi opened his mouth to tell him he had a few ideas but then decided it’d be wiser not to say anything and closed it. Mick and Charles still hadn’t returned and it had been hours. Maxi suspected they might not return until the next day. They could have found some girls which was probably the least likely option if Maxi knew his friends at all. They could have been having fun on their own, not necessarily in the dirty way though Maxi wouldn’t put it past them. Or it could have been some combination of the latter and being arseholes who thought leaving Callum and Maxi alone was an amazing idea. 

Maxi shook his head and collected the laundry - he didn’t have enough strength to clean up when he was ill and Mick had never seen the need to throw laundry into the laundry basket when there was the floor - from his carpet as Callum threw himself onto the bed. He mumbled something into the pillow which sounded like  _ I’ve missed you _ . Rolling his eyes with a huff, Maxi assumed he meant the bed and went to get rid of the sheets. When he came back, Callum was still lying on his stomach but he had his chin propped up on his fist. He turned onto his side to watch Maxi as the German threw some papers into the bin and lay down on his half of the bed.

“I like it here,” Callum said quietly with a soft smile.

“My bed  _ is _ very comfortable,” Maxi said, suppressing a yawn. His eyes were closing without his permission. Even if it was no longer full blown flu, he was still far from completely healthy.

Callum chuckled. He managed to tug the blankets from under Maxi’s body and cover him with them. Maxi shuffled closer to him, not even realising he was doing that. Callum inhaled sharply but then relaxed, one of his hands falling onto the back of Maxi’s neck and rubbing soothing circles on the skin there. “I actually meant Munich,” he said. “But I think you’ve convinced me it’s even better here,” he added in a whisper, unsure if he wanted Maxi to hear him.


	7. Chapter 7

By the time Mick’s birthday came round nothing much had changed. Callum’s German had improved but other then that everything else remained the same. Charles was still there and Maxi finally admitted that he was living with them at this point. He’d got used to him being there though. And his paying part of the rent certainly did have something to do with Maxi’s sudden acceptance.

But with Charles there, there was no way of getting out of celebrating Mick’s birthday.  _ Properly _ as Charles had put it. Maxi didn’t know what that was supposed to mean. He finally got it when Charles forced them to go to a club, packed with people, most of whom he had seen at the uni but couldn’t put any names to the faces. There were some guys Maxi knew and some he had seen Mick with. He didn’t think Mick had this many friends but apparently it didn’t stop Charles. 

Maxi resolved to be the designated driver even without anyone asking him to. He suspected the other guys would get drunk out of their minds and at least one of them should have a clear head. Besides, even if he and Callum were friends, Maxi was man enough to admit he liked the Brit a bit more than that and didn’t fancy making a fool of himself after one drink too many.

It was okay as far as parties go. Maxi had never been particularly crazy about them. Okay, so he did usually like having fun when it was Mick’s birthday or something like that. But not this time. This time he was too busy internally cursing Callum. And Charles just because he could.

The first problem had become apparent even before they left the flat. Callum had apparently made it his mission to make this evening Maxi’s personal hell. It started with what Maxi assumed to be the tightest jeans Callum owned. He almost walked into a door frame because he was so fixated on the way the dark denim was hugging the curve of Callum’s arse, he forgot to watch where he was going. Thankfully, he was the one to lock the door so nobody noticed. Probably.

If he had only known what was still to come. It probably shouldn’t have come as a surprise to him, they were in a club after all, but he didn’t realise that the dancing was implied until he saw Charles grinding against Mick (there are some things you can never  _ unsee _ ). Callum was kind of better at this than Charles, actually managing to move to the beat most of the time, even if he looked much too awkward to be considered genuinely sexy. Or at least Maxi hoped others would think that because he didn’t think he could deal with people hitting on Callum right in front of him.

Which is how he found himself sitting at the bar, squeezing his glass of Coke so hard his fingers had gone numb. He tried to pretend he wasn’t watching at first but after the first hour gave up all pretenses. There was something about the way Callum moved his hips that put thoughts into Maxi’s head. Thoughts he had been doing his best to ignore. And all it took was one evening for him to just fail entirely. 

He realised around midnight that Charles and Mick had disappeared. It didn’t even particularly surprise him that Mick had left his own birthday party earlier. Callum had come to him once to get something to drink and catch his breath. He even convinced Maxi to dance with him for a bit. Which honestly wasn’t  _ too _ difficult. He was reluctant at first, afraid of what he might do once he’d have Callum in his reach, moving his hips in that way that made Maxi lose his mind.

But they did dance. And Maxi managed to keep his hands to himself. More or less. Even with Callum inching closer to him with each song. Even when they were so close Maxi couldn’t help his arms bumping against Callum. 

After an hour he decided he’d had enough and left Callum to get something to drink. For the first time he thought of regretting his decision to drive. He could have really used something stronger. He got the impression the alcohol Callum had consumed made him… actually, if he was being honest, he didn’t think it  _ was _ the alcohol. He got the impression  _ Callum _ suddenly decided to… what, seduce him?! It sounded ridiculous even in his own head.

He downed the whole glass of water and was about to order another one when he caught the sight of what was going on on the dancefloor. Some guy was all over Callum who looked  _ very _ uncomfortable and suddenly Maxi was on the other side of the room without any notion of how he’d got there. The guy’s face fell as Maxi put himself between him and Callum, squaring his shoulders and straightening his back. He got some satisfaction when he noticed the guy was half a head shorter.

“Can I help you?” He asked coldly. The guy shook his head quickly and, throwing one last look at Callum over Maxi’s shoulder, was off, practically running across the room. “Let’s get you home,” Maxi said to Callum, spreading his fingers on the soft fabric of his T-shirt, against his lower back, and pushing him towards the exit.

“I’m not that drunk,” Callum mumbled, leaning his head against the passenger window, as Maxi fastened his seatbelt and turned the key. 

“I know,” he said. 

He could feel Callum’s eyes on him and he wished he knew what the younger boy was thinking. If it was anything like the images Maxi had in his head. They’d been dancing around each other for so long and he was sick of it. It would be a lie to say he had nothing to lose but he did have something to gain and in the end the possibility of that outweighed the risks.

He kissed Callum as soon as the engine was off, not giving himself time to back down. And Callum just melted against him at the first brush of Maxi’s lips against his own. He tasted faintly of vodka and something sweet but he wasn’t clumsy enough for Maxi to think he was too drunk to know what he was doing. 

“I’ve wanted to do this for  _ ages _ ,” Callum confessed once they’d broken apart, resting his forehead against Maxi’s, a silly smile on his face. He didn’t give Maxi the chance to reply before pressing their lips together. Maxi thought that maybe Callum didn’t quite believe it was really happening either. Maxi was one hundred percent sober but it still felt like some dream. He’d had such dreams before. More and more frequently as the time went on. But he didn’t think he’d have the guts to actually make the first move.

He hadn’t planned this. It was just… seeing that guy hitting on  _ his _ Callum made him feel possessive all of a sudden. It was a new feeling to him and he didn’t particularly enjoy it but he could probably learn to appreciate it if it finally got him to kiss Callum. 

They were far enough from the main street that there weren’t too many people but they were on a street nonetheless. Maxi didn’t think anyone would mind too much seeing some guys making out in the car. The thing was… He didn’t trust himself - didn’t trust _ them _ \- to keep it PG. If he was to have sex with Callum, it wouldn’t be in his old Mercedes right out in the open. Maybe one day but certainly not for the first time. 

“Come on,” he said, getting out of the car. It took Callum a moment to catch on but he followed Maxi out.

Maxi was praying the whole five-minute walk to their flat that it would be empty. He suspected it would be. It was Charles and Mick they were talking about after all. They were probably in some hotel room or another club, hoping Maxi and Callum would finally take the opportunity they had been trying to provide them with for three months.

It only hit him as he was locking the front door that they were seriously going to do this. He was (probably) about to have sex with Callum. Or at least make out with Callum. He kind of thought it would be the safer option because he was probably going to embarrass himself very quickly. It had been over a year since the last time he’d had sex. And even if it hadn’t been, it was Callum for fuck’s sake! Maxi could get turned on just looking at him. Especially in those jeans, bloody hell.

“You okay?” Callum asked behind him, so close Maxi could feel his breath on the back of his neck. He realised he’d been standing there with his hand still on the lock, staring at it blankly, for at least a minute. “We can jus-”

“Sorry,” Maxi said with a small laugh, finally turning around. He knew Callum was close but he wasn’t prepared for this anyway. He forced himself not to kiss Callum for a second longer. “Are we really gonna…?” He trailed off. His gaze fell onto the door to his room. 

Callum smiled, the tips of his fingers brushing the back of Maxi’s hand and making him shiver. “We don’t have to.”

Maxi pressed a chaste kiss to Callum’s lips, surprised at himself that he actually had the self-control necessary to  _ keep it _ chaste. “Do you want to?” 

Instead of answering, Callum leant forward. This kiss wasn’t chaste in the slightest. Callum coaxed Maxi to part his lips. His tongue swiped over the roof of Maxi’s mouth and Maxi realised with a start that it was himself who was making those needy noises. He broke the kiss. 

“We should…” his voice  cracked. He tried again after clearing his throat. “We should move.”

Callum frowned for a moment, his darkened eyes fixed on Maxi’s parted lips. But then he shook his head and looked up again. The smirk on his lips was very suggestive and Maxi resisted the urge to adjust his suddenly too tight trousers. “Great idea.”

He turned around and walked away.  _ Slowly _ . Proving to Maxi that he had been right in thinking that Callum wore those trousers on purpose to torture him. But now that he might get to take them off very soon, Maxi found he couldn’t be mad.

On his way to the room, he got the surprisingly sane thought to look at the hooks near the front door. They were empty save for the winter coats they hadn’t moved yet which meant the two of them were alone. Or that Mick and Charles had taken their jackets to Mick’s… to  _ their _ room. But even if Maxi did suspect them of hidden voyeuristic tendencies he didn’t think they would miss the chance to leave the moment they heard the commotion in the hallway. 

Callum was sitting on the edge of the bed. He had taken off his shoes and jacket. Maxi hesitated with his hand hovering over the light switch but then finally decided to flip it. They both narrowed their eyes at the sudden light. Nerves were slowly returning to Maxi as he took off his jacket and shoes, deciding to just leave them on the floor for now.

Callum was staring at him. His eyes were darker than Maxi had ever seen them. He was breathing shallowly, his tongue swiping over his lips slowly as he looked Maxi up and down. It was an unconscious gesture, Callum didn’t mean anything by it, but it made Maxi feel hot. 

“I’m actually happy to be so clumsy for once,” Callum said, a shy smile playing in the corner of his lips. 

Maxi frowned. “What?” 

“You can keep going, you know.” Callum laughed, motioning towards Maxi’s jacket on the floor. It was that laugh Maxi knew, the happy, carefree one. Maxi relaxed suddenly. He was being silly. It was just the two of them. He couldn’t seriously be insecure around Callum. Awkward - sure. Mildly uncomfortable even. But never insecure.

With a shrug and a smile, he did what Callum had asked him to. As he was tugging his T-shirt up and off, Callum spoke up again. “If I hadn’t been clumsy, I might have never met you.” 

Maxi chuckled. “So… what you’re saying is - you’re  _ glad _ you used me as a doorstop.”

“Umm… yeah,” Callum agreed with a teasing smile, “pretty much.” 

Maxi climbed onto the bed, his knees on either side of Callum’s hips. “Hi there.” He laughed, pressing a kiss to Callum’s lips. 

Callum made a pleased sound. “I could certainly get used to  _ this _ ,” he said, his hands running down Maxi’s bare back. Maxi thought he’d be feeling exposed. Sure, they had seen each other shirtless (and more sometimes), it was unavoidable when you were sharing a room with someone. But this was different. This time Callum was staring openly. Though now that Maxi thought about it he did that earlier as well. It was just Maxi who refused to notice. 

“You’re overdressed.”

Callum smiled at him. “Do something about it then.”

Maxi laughed and shook his head. He pulled the T-shirt off Callum and then pushed him back so that he was lying on the bed. “This won’t do,” he muttered absent-mindedly, considering the position they were in. But then Callum was kissing him, their naked skin touching and Maxi decided he’d figure out the logistics of it later. Provided he’d still have some brainpower left to even think.

“We could’ve been doing this for  _ months _ ,” Callum moaned when Maxi pulled back to kiss down his neck to his collarbone. “Why haven’t we?”

“‘Cause we’re idiots,” Maxi replied with a shrug, standing up so that he could get his jeans off. Callum huffed but then nodded in agreement, mimicking Maxi’s actions. Once his jeans were on the ground he shuffled up the bed, settling himself more comfortably against the headboard. Maxi didn’t straddle him this time. He was going to at first but then Callum spread his thighs in a blatant invitation and how could Maxi refuse that? He leaned down to kiss down Callum’s chest as he settled between his legs. This was quickly becoming one of his favourite places to be.

It got even better when he moved an inch too far forward and his hips rocked against Callum’s, making them both gasp.

“Please, tell me,” Callum paused to laugh, “that I’m not the only one here thinking this is gonna be over embarrassingly quickly.”

Maxi was impressed with Callum’s ability to still put together coherent sentences. All his own brain could come up with at that point was some garbled mess of German which made very little sense even to him. “You’re not,” he admitted, pressing his lips against Callum’s and repeating the movement. 

He knew this would have been even better if they could be bothered to take their underwear off. But that would also mean he’d need to give up this amazing friction for long enough to actually finish undressing and he didn’t want that. He had known he was turning Callum on for some time now. Knowing it and actually  _ feeling _ it turned out to be two very different things. Maxi’s head was swimming at the thought that Callum’s face was red and his eyes glassy because of  _ him _ . 

Callum was gasping his name, the sound tugging at something in Maxi’s abdomen and forcing a weak sound out of him. He had to pull away for a moment because he was about to come. “Please,” Callum mumbled, gripping the back of Maxi’s neck and pulling him in for a kiss.

Maxi shoved a hand between their bodies, palming at the front of Callum’s pants. It made Callum moan against Maxi’s lips and deepen the kiss. He was rocking his hips up, rubbing himself off against Maxi’s hand and that was something Maxi thought probably shouldn’t have been as hot as it was. Especially when Callum arched his back and came with a stifled moan which turned into breathless laughter.

“Fuck,” he gasped. His hands were running up and down Maxi’s shoulders as he struggled to catch his breath. 

Maxi didn’t wait for him to come down from his orgasm. He rocked his hips against Callum’s thigh, letting out a low sound at how good it felt. That seemed to be enough to for Callum to snap back to reality as he pushed the waistband of Maxi’s pants down. Callum’s fingers wrapped around him and Maxi had to focus very hard on not coming the very second Callum touched him.

“I’ll be wanking off to this for weeks,” Callum said absentmindedly, as if he didn’t mean to say it out loud. It didn’t matter though because once Maxi’s brain helpfully supplied him with that image, Maxi was gone.

It took Maxi a moment to clear his head. Callum was smiling up at him warmly as he wiped his fingers on his own pants. Maxi moaned weakly. “You’re killing me.”

Callum just laughed in response, nudging Maxi’s stomach to get him to move so that he could take his sticky pants off. Maxi hesitated for a beat before pushing his own down his legs and kicking them off onto the floor where a pile of clothes had already formed. 

“We should shower,” Maxi muttered, cringing at how sticky he felt. And he was sure he still smelt of sweat and vodka, even though he hadn’t had any, and cigarette smoke. It wasn’t a particularly pleasant mix.

“We should,” Callum agreed but made no move to actually do it.

“Well,  _ I _ for one am going to,” Maxi decided determinedly. He needed a moment to get enough motivation to actually get up though. “You going to sleep?”

“I’m not sleepy,” Callum mumbled, looking up at Maxi through his eyelashes. 

“We could watch a movie,” Maxi suggested. He frowned when it made Callum snort.

“Sorry, it’s just… in this context it suddenly got a dirty meaning,” he explained, laughing quietly. “But that’s a good idea.”

Maxi widened his eyes. “What is?!”

Callum laughed again and pulled him back down onto the mattress to kiss him properly. Because that was something they could do now.  _ Kiss _ . Maxi didn’t think he’d ever get used to it. “A film.  _ Not _ the dirty kind.”

Which was how they ended up sitting on the bed with Maxi’s laptop for hours, watching whatever Maxi could find that was simple enough German for Callum to get at least half of it. Maxi had insisted on showering and getting dressed first though. Callum grumbled a bit but then a mischievous sparkle appeared in his eye. Maxi decided it had been one of his better ideas when Callum snuggled up to him some time later, pressing little kisses along the column of his throat and looking exceptionally comfy in Maxi’s T-shirt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These two were actually supposed to be one chapter but it got way too long compared to the others. And since there's not much actual plot in this one I decided to finish them both first so I could post them at the same time.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger alert? I guess

Maxi had a problem. There were two things he wanted more than anything in the world and they were mutually exclusive. On one hand he wanted to show Callum off to everyone. He wanted to take him out on dates and introduce him as his boyfriend and put his arm around Callum’s shoulders whenever someone got a bit too friendly. On the other he wanted to keep this thing between them a secret, to have something just the two of them knew about. But there were many such things already. Maxi was fairly sure there weren’t all that many people in the world who knew the noises Callum made when he came or how he liked to snuggle up to Maxi whenever he could. And wear his clothes. That one was something Maxi enjoyed very much. His T-shirts might have been a tad too big on him but Callum didn’t seem to mind, _borrowing_ them all the time. That wasn’t anything new though, he had been doing that for months. Except now they were the T-shirts he picked up from next to their bed, the ones he’d taken off Maxi the previous night and that made Maxi’s stomach hot in a completely different way than seeing Callum pick out a shirt he thought looked nice from Maxi’s wardrobe did.

So Maxi found himself leaning heavily towards the _showing Callum off_ part. He wanted to shout about this thing between them, to gush to anyone who was half-willing to listen or too polite to tell him to shut up. And he wanted to snuggle up to Callum on the couch with Mick and Charles there. And to get to be that obnoxious couple sometimes who had sex even when their flatmates were home.

Except he wasn’t sure what the thing between them even was. They hadn’t talked about it yet. And Maxi didn’t want to be the guy who’d just assume. They would have to talk about it eventually though. Especially with the summer getting closer and closer. Maxi knew it was stupid and very unlikely but the knowledge didn’t stop him from hoping Callum would stay. Just like that. Just because Maxi wanted him to.

But even with Callum on the other side of Europe, Maxi still wanted this to work. Which was another great reason to talk. Long distance relationship would be difficult as such but with the _relationship_ part missing, it’d be downright impossible.

They hadn’t told anyone. Perhaps unsurprisingly, Mick seemed to be on to something though. Maxi thought he was imagining it at first. But the jokes got less frequent and Mick’s smile got softer and he was almost as nice to Callum now as he was to Maxi. But even if he did suspect something, he didn’t seem to have told Charles. Which was a major shock but a pleasant one nonetheless. Maxi was suddenly reminded why Mick was the best friend he could have ever hoped for.

It wasn’t easy. He was quickly growing tired of hiding. He did try to start a conversation but Callum would always find a way out. It wasn’t as obvious that Maxi couldn’t ignore it in the beginning. But then April came and as the weeks passed Maxi had no choice but to accept the unpleasant thought as a fact. Callum was avoiding having to talk about whatever it was they were doing to the point where it made Maxi wonder why. He got that some people could just hate talking about their feelings but Callum wasn’t that kind of person. And if he didn’t like Maxi that way, he wouldn’t be having sex with him and sharing a bed with him and cuddling up to him all the time. Something was off, there was no doubt about it. But if there was one thing Maxi was sure of it was that Callum’s feelings weren’t the problem here.

Which meant there must have been something else holding him back. Maxi spent sleepless nights, staring at Callum snuggled up against his side, trying to figure out what it could be. It wouldn’t stop bugging him. But no matter how long he thought about it, no matter how many idiotic possibilities he came up with, none of them was a good enough explanation for Callum’s odd behaviour.

He got so desperate and sleep deprived, he almost asked Charles about it. Then he remembered that Charles wasn’t supposed to know so he stopped himself. But it was getting increasingly difficult not to go to Mick and just tell him about everything that was bothering him. Mick might not have had the answers to all of Maxi’s problems but the least he could do would be to hear him out and give him a nice hug. At this point, Maxi would have happily taken that.

 

***

 

It was just the two of them in the flat and that hadn’t happened in such a long time Maxi felt kind of weird about it. He wasn’t the only one though. It was so out of ordinary, Maxi actually caught himself heading for the balcony door out of habit before he realised they could easily talk in the living room. They spent a very tense, very _silent_ half an hour during which Maxi was trying to first come up with some topic for _small talk_ and then all the excuses he could use to just leave.

“We’re being awkward,” Mick mumbled from where he was sitting next to Maxi on the couch, staring at the TV.

“I know,” Maxi replied.

The tense silence settled over them once more, broken only by the sound of a shampoo commercial.

“Well, how do we stop?” Mick exclaimed, suddenly reaching for the remote control to turn off the TV and almost knocking over his glass of apple juice in the process. Maxi couldn’t help snorting at the unexpected clumsiness. Some of the tension dissipated.

“We can start by making some hot chocolate and getting off this damn thing,” Maxi suggested.

As they settled on the floor several minutes later, steaming mugs in their hands, they were already talking like they always had. There was no sign of any residual awkwardness which came as a great relief to both of them.

“Is Charles in Berlin?” Maxi asked. Charles had been gone since the previous afternoon. Almost twenty-four hours.

To his surprise, Mick snorted into his mug. He placed it on the table next to them, as if he was afraid he was going to end up spilling it all over himself. Which wasn’t all that unlikely. He crossed his hands on his lap and looked up at Maxi through his eyelashes, a playful smile on his face. “He’s not. Some friend of his is in Munich.”

Maxi frowned, placing his mug next to Mick’s and unconsciously mirroring the younger boy’s pose. “Okay…” he said slowly. “What’s with the face then?”

Mick’s grin widened. “I shouldn’t be telling you this,” he said but Maxi could see that he was totally going to. And dying to as well. “You can’t tell Callum. And I’m serious about this,” he added.

“Cross my heart and hope to die.”

Mick nodded, pleased with Maxi’s assurance. “You know that _job_ he had in Berlin?”

Maxi cocked his head to the side, eyes narrowed. “I know he had a job. But the one time I tried to find out what it was, you practically ran out of the room.”

Mick giggled. An actual, honest-to-god giggle. It suited him though, so Maxi paid it no mind. “It wasn’t a job.”

Maxi shot him a puzzled look.

“It was a girl.” Now Mick didn’t even try to stifle his laughter. Maxi thought they were behaving like two teenage girls in a bad American movie when suddenly the sense of Mick’s words hit him.

“What?!” Maxi gaped at him as Mick tried to regain his composure. “You’re saying that Charles disappears in Berlin for weeks at a time to meet with his girlfriend?”

Mick shrugged. “Disappeared. She dumped him some time ago,” he corrected. “But pretty much, yes.”

“But why didn’t he just say so? And where do _you_ come in?”

Mick actually blushed. “You might be the person who knows the most about me but Charles has actual, _physical_ , incriminating evidence. As in photos.”

Maxi shook his head. “Nope. I’m gonna stop you there. I don’t want to know about any photos.”

Mick’s blush deepened. “That’s not… okay, nevermind.” He cleared his throat. “Besides, I was curious.” Fair enough. Maxi would have been curious too. “As for your first question…” Mick’s face looked like it was about to catch fire. “Let’s say they met in a rather… unorthodox way,” he said with a barely stifled laugh.

“Do I even want to know?” Maxi asked, narrowing his eyes at Mick who shrugged.

“Stripclub.”

“That’s not so… unless she was-”

“Yep!”

“Oh…” Maxi considered the information for a moment.

“But you don’t know anything,” Maxi reminded him. “Especially not from me. Charles would kill me.”

“What about?” Maxi asked with a wink and Mick smiled at him gratefully. “Well, that’s one mystery of the year solved.”

Mick regarded him for a moment. He reached for his mug and sipped the chocolate, his eyes never leaving Maxi’s face. Maxi mirrored the action again, not realising he was doing it. He was expecting the next question but it still made him almost spit the liquid. “Does the other one have anything to do with Callum?” Mick asked slowly, gauging Maxi’s reaction.

Maxi took a deep breath. He had been dreaming of talking to Mick about this but now that he had the opportunity… Wishing for something didn’t mean it was the right thing to do. Against his better judgement, he nodded.

“He-”

There was the sound of a key being pushed into the lock and Maxi shut his mouth. Mick shot him a sympathetic smile. _Later_ , he mouthed when Charles made his way into the room. He wasn’t alone. There was a guy Maxi had never seen before trailing behind him with an uncertain smile. He was much shorter than Charles. Dark-haired and tanned, he looked… well, he looked Italian and knowing Charles and where he grew up it was very likely that he was.

“Guys, this is Antonio. And these are Mick and Maxi.” Visibly happy to have the “official” part done with, Charles knelt on the floor next to Mick, staring at his mug wantonly. Mick rolled his eyes but even if there hadn’t been a huge smile on his face no one could ever suspect him of being genuinely angry as he handed the hot chocolate to Charles whose face lit up like a Christmas tree.

Maxi seemed to be the only one still paying any attention to their guest, who was standing near the entrance, a startled expression on his face.

“Sit down,” Maxi motioned towards the floor. “Oh, you don’t wanna sit on _that_ ,” he added when he saw the puzzled look Antonio shot in the direction of the couch.

“Where’s Callum?” Charles asked as Antonio was trying to make himself comfortable on a cushion Maxi threw his way.

“He should come back soon,” Maxi replied, finishing off the chocolate and using it as an excuse to disappear in the kitchen. He washed it meticulously for several minutes, even though it was already spotlessly clean at that point. For some reason he really didn’t want to go back to that room. Antonio seemed like a nice guy and, had it been any other time, Maxi would have happily chatted with him. But now his mind was full of Callum.

Maybe the interruption was a sign that Maxi shouldn’t tell Mick about this? Not that Maxi paid too much attention to signs and all that kind of stuff. But he was getting desperate. He needed something, anything which would explain what was happening.

By the time Mick appeared in the kitchen with his own empty mug, Maxi’s fingers had already gone wrinkly. “I’m seriously beginning to suspect you of having OCD,” Mick muttered when he saw the way Maxi was scrubbing at the green ceramic furiously. “Leave it,” he exclaimed, taking the mug away by force. He handed him the dirty one, almost like a peace offering and Maxi took it with a shrug. “Seriously though, are you okay?”

Maxi paused. He let the mug drop but didn’t turn off the water. He was hoping it would muffle their conversation at least a little bit. “Not really,” he admitted. There were so many things he wanted to say. But then he heard the door opening again. It must have been Callum and Maxi felt like his heart was attempting to jump at the thought but had suddenly turned to lead.

He hurried to the living room, vaguely aware of Mick following him. They returned just in time to see the other three guys standing up, apparently having just greeted each other. The look on Callum’s face was very odd and Maxi could have sworn he had gone several shades whiter. Or maybe more like greenish grey colour. Maxi’s stomach squeezed almost painfully.

“Callum, mate,” Antonio grinned, patting Callum on the back. “How’s your girlfriend?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a lot of Mick in this and the next chapter. And I do mean a lot.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a bit too dialogue-heavy for my liking. Same as the next one, to be honest.

_ His… girlfriend? _

This must have been some kind of a joke. Maybe Callum had made some girl up so people would lay off him? Or maybe Antonio got it wrong. 

But one glance at Callum was enough to convince Maxi it was the truth. He had gone all stiff and seemed not to be breathing anymore. “She’s… fine,” he managed to say through gritted teeth. The smile looked like it had been pasted onto his face. He was avoiding Maxi’s eyes, staring at Antonio determinedly.

Maxi turned to Charles, as if he had all the answers to the unasked questions. But Charles seemed even more shocked than Maxi felt if that was even possible. His eyes were darting between Callum and Antonio as if he was expecting one of them to burst out laughing any second now and say they were joking. 

“You must miss her a lot,” Antonio carried on, apparently not sensing the sudden shift in the atmosphere. Maxi thought that maybe he should hate him but he couldn’t bring himself to. It wasn’t his fault Callum had decided to keep his mouth shut. If anything, Maxi probably felt grateful. Had it not been for him, he would have remained oblivious. At least now he knew why Callum was being weird. And that was always better than living a lie… Right?

Out of the corner of his eye Maxi glimpsed Mick exchanging a look with Charles who shrugged and shook his head. Callum stood there, his mouth opening and closing with no sounds coming out. Suddenly he glanced up at Maxi, a pleading look on his face. And Maxi actually found himself pitying him against his better judgement. But he couldn’t think of anything to say. He didn’t know what Callum was expecting him to do. 

They just stared at each other for a long time, neither daring to break the tense silence.

Thankfully, Charles seemed to keep his wits about as he decided to finally put a stop to all this. “Antonio, we should be going.” His voice sounded weak and he was still trying to wordlessly communicate with Mick.

Callum still hadn’t looked away. 

“Sure. It was nice to meet you guys.”

“Mick?” Charles asked, one hand on the doorknob.

Mick threw one glance at Maxi who still hadn’t broken the eye contact with Callum. “I’ll stay here. Have some reading to do.”

“But-”

“I’m staying,” Mick repeated decidedly. Charles just nodded and, with one last glance at Maxi and Callum, followed Antonio outside.

“A girlfriend?” Maxi asked as soon as the door had closed. His voice sounded foreign to him, like it belonged to a stranger. He didn’t know what he was feeling. He didn’t know what he was thinking even. It was like his brain was screaming at him and Maxi couldn’t make sense of any of this. It just didn’t feel real.

Callum looked down at the floor. Then he seemed to realise Mick was still there as he glanced at him and then shot Maxi a pointed look.

Mick took several steps backwards in the direction of his room. “I’m gonna…” he trailed off when he saw Maxi’s pleading look, “...stay here.”

“A girlfriend,” Callum repeated, glaring at the floorboards. “It’s-”

Maxi shook his head. “Not now. I’ve got lectures soon.” Not that he thought he’d be able to concentrate on them but at least he would have the chance to sort out his thoughts a bit before talking with Callum. “I think I’ll just.. go.”

And even though he still had over an hour before he had to be at the uni, he thought it’d be better to not start a conversation they wouldn’t be able to finish until hours later. So he left Callum who was very pointedly looking everywhere but at Mick.

 

***

 

He didn’t return until late evening when it was already dark outside. He had an even bigger mess in his head than when he left the flat but at least the worst shock had passed and he could think logically again. The living room was empty but there was light coming from the gap under the door to Maxi’s room. Maxi paused by the front door then decided he wasn’t ready to face Callum yet. He directed his steps towards Mick’s room instead. 

He knocked softly and the conversation inside ceased. 

“Come in.”

Mick was at his desk, an open textbook in his lap but he didn’t seem to have been reading. Charles was sitting cross-legged on the bed, chin propped on his hands. They both smiled at Maxi when he came in. 

“I guess, I’ll-” Charles started standing up from the bed but Maxi stopped him.

“It’s fine.” He looked at Mick. “Walk with me?”

Mick glanced at his alarm clock. It was nearing eleven. Maxi half-expected him to refuse but he just got a quiet laugh and a shrug in response. “Let me get my jacket.”

 

***

 

It was nice to just walk with Mick in silence for a bit. They wandered aimlessly through the surprisingly empty streets. Surprisingly because it was Friday night after all. But then they were quite a way from the city centre so it tended to be calmer there. It reminded Maxi of the walks they would take when Mick first got there. Maxi had known the city quite well so he showed him around. Sometimes when they finished lectures at the same time they would get off several stops earlier and walk the rest of the way. Maxi had missed this. With Callum and Charles there, they didn’t spend so much time together, just the two of them.

A group of girls in tight short dresses giggled as they passed them and Mick stared after them reflexively. Maxi snorted. It was the closest thing to a laugh he had managed in hours. Mick turned back to him with a bashful smile. 

“How are you doing?” It was the first thing either of them said since they had left the flat. 

Maxi shrugged. “I’m not sure,” he admitted, feeling foolish and helpless. 

“They know each other from work,” Mick said. The sudden change of topic caught Maxi off-guard. “Antonio had a part-time job in the same restaurant as Callum. He taught Callum some Italian, their boss wanted him to, and they became kind of friends. And since Antonio was already friends with Charles, he introduced the two at some party. I talked to Callum after you’ve left,” he explained when he saw the puzzled look Maxi was sending him. “But I won’t repeat what he said. You should just ask him yourself.”

Maxi nodded. “I know. I will.” 

“And you will actually  _ listen _ , right?” Mick asked, pulling at Maxi’s sleeve and dragging him to an empty staircase. He didn’t push for an answer when Maxi had failed to give any.

“I’m not sure how I should feel about all this,” Maxi admitted, pulling his jacket tighter around his body. It was almost May but the nights were still pretty chilly. “I don’t think I’m as angry as I should be.”

Mick frowned at him. “You think too much, have I ever told you that?” He ran a hand through his hair and slumped back against the cold stone with a heavy sigh. “I don’t want to sound like a freaking psychotherapist but you can’t just force yourself to feel things. You either do or you don’t. I promise you, it really  _ is _ that simple.”

Maxi mulled Mick’s words over in his head. Mick was right. But Maxi knew this wasn’t just about what he wanted. He wanted Callum. And unless Maxi had just made a whole alternate universe up in his head, Callum seemed to want him too. 

But there was some girlfriend Maxi knew nothing about, who he didn’t even know existed until several hours earlier, and he couldn’t just forget about her. She could have been some selfish, snobby, despicable creature, sure. More likely though, she was just a girl who’d been cheated on and probably didn’t even know that yet. Maxi didn’t really want to make any assumptions about anything until he talked to Callum. 

But he couldn’t help wondering if she loved him. Would she be as crushed as Maxi felt in that moment if she found out Callum had been cheating on her? Not only that - he was  _ pretending she didn’t even exist _ .

“I don’t think I could be really angry with him,” Maxi confessed quietly. He didn’t know if Mick had even heard him because he just sat there completely still for a long moment, not even looking at Maxi.

“You’re in love with him,” he said suddenly with a shrug as if it was the explanation for everything. This was the first time anyone had ever said that out loud about him and Callum. “And I’m assuming you haven’t told him.”

Maxi laughed. It surprised him how genuinely amused he felt. Okay, so mildly hysterical too but something like that was to be expected. “Of course I haven’t. I didn’t even  _ realise _ .”

“It’s a good thing you have me then,” Mick retorted with a teasing smile. He was probably expecting a sarcastic remark but Maxi just ruffled his hair affectionately as he stood up. Mick gaped up at him. 

Maxi made the impulsive decision to keep his thoughts Callum-free for the rest of the evening. He’d worry about it the next day. For now he wanted to pretend it was a year ago and him and Mick spending all their time together was something usual. 

“Fancy some ice cream?” he asked, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jeans. He couldn’t explain why but he felt lighter all of a sudden. Mick’s customary optimism must have been infectious because suddenly Maxi didn’t think it would be as bad as he had been expecting.

Mick jumped up off the steps. “Have you lost your mind?” He asked, more concerned and surprised than actually annoyed. Not that Maxi expected him to be.

Maxi shrugged. “I guess,” he agreed with a grin.  _ In love _ … He shook his head as if that would get rid of the stubborn thought. “A pizza then?” 

“For fuck’s sake,” Mick sighed but he couldn’t suppress the smile. He lifted the sleeve of his jacket to look at his watch. “It’s a quarter to midnight.”

“McDonald’s is still open.” 

Mick’s smile turned a bit dopey. 

“Aww… you’ve missed me,” Maxi realised with a laugh. Mick tried to glare at him but he just couldn’t keep himself from smiling when he saw Maxi so openly happy. “It’s okay. I’ve missed you too,” Maxi admitted, throwing his arm around Mick’s shoulders as they started walking again.

“Don’t you want to talk about it?” Mick asked cautiously. 

“I want you to distract me.”

Mick nodded understandingly. “I’ll try.”

 

***

 

“How romantic,” Mick muttered teasingly halfway through the meal. The place was almost empty, save for them, some teenagers who looked mildly drunk, a middle-aged man who was scribbling something furiously in his little notebook, and the staff.

Maxi rolled his eyes. “I did suggest ice creams but you refused.”

“I didn’t realise it was a metaphor,” Mick retorted, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Maxi groaned and hid his face in his hands. “Oh my God, I’m picturing that now.”

Mick burst out laughing. He had to take several deep breaths to calm down before he could carry on shoving more chips into his mouth.

Maxi leaned back in his chair, arms crossed on his chest. “Okay, but I’ve got some questions for you too.”

Mick made a wide gesture with his hand, which Maxi took to mean  _ go on _ .

“What’s up with you and Charles?” 

Mick somehow managed to smirk at him with his mouth full. He drank some of his Coke, considering the question. “What do you think is up with us?” He asked innocently but the mischievous sparkles in his eyes gave him away.

Maxi shrugged. “You’re fucking or planning my doom? I’m not sure which one.” He intentionally left Callum out of the sentence.

Mick scrunched his nose. “Dammit. Didn’t see this one coming.” He only started explaining when Maxi shot him a very curious look. “We have a bet,” he said, pushing the tray with what little food was left away from them, towards the edge of the table.

“A bet?” Maxi repeated incredulously. He knew the kind of bets they could come up with. 

“Charles said you’d assume we were…” he paused and Maxi guessed he was trying not to mention Callum. He felt a wave of fondness for Mick. “He said you’d assume we were plotting against you. I said you’d assume we were fucking.” 

Maxi nodded slowly. “And which one was it?” 

“Both. The fucking part actually started as a bet too. It’s a long story,” he added quickly when he saw Maxi cock his head to the side.

Maxi thought he should have been more surprised at the information but he had learnt to expect anything and everything when those two were concerned. “So you and Charles are…?”

Mick frowned. “Too competitive for our own good?”

“Fair enough.”

 

***

 

“There’s no way you could’ve been having sex in the flat while I was there. I would’ve noticed.”

“Remember that one time you walked into the kitchen and I was kind of red and breathing heavily? And Charles said he was… what was it… checking if there were any gums stuck under the table or something equally stupid. Well, in reality he was s-”

“Mick! Stop talking.  _ Now _ .”

 

***

 

“Do you think we should get more chips?”

“I can’t stop picturing that.”

“What? Me and Charles in the kitchen? That’s nothing. There was that one time-”

“Mick!” 

“…I’ll go get those chips.”

 

***

 

“I knew you’d agree to have those ice creams in the end.”

“This sounds so wrong now.”

“I know. I’ll never look at ice creams the same way.”

“Tastes good, though.”

“You would know. Or maybe rather Charles. Hey! Stop throwing food at me.”

“Maxi, you pervert. I meant the ice cream.”

 

***

 

They walked some more (“ _ gotta burn those calories _ ”) and then ended up sitting on one of the benches in Olympiapark. Maxi was watching Mick, who had been chewing on his bottom lip for the last five minutes, waiting for him to finally say what was on his mind. 

“What is it?” He asked when Mick seemed nowhere nearer to making up his mind and speaking.

Mick shot him a startled look, like he’d managed to forget Maxi was there. For a second Maxi thought he was going to just shrug it off. 

“I know you wanted me to distract you.”

“And you did a great job,” Maxi praised him with a big smile. The images of Charles and Mick would be haunting him for weeks to come and he didn’t think he could as much as look at junk food without being sick any time soon but it worked. He got to have several hours of peace. And he knew that when he talked to Callum later, he’d be much calmer than he would have been, had he spent the time torturing himself with thoughts about Callum and his girlfriend. “There’s a  _ but _ , isn’t there?”

Mick smiled. “ _ But _ just so you know,” he paused, studying Maxi for a second as if he still wasn’t sure how to put it into words, “I think Callum’s in love with you too.”

Maxi smiled at Mick gratefully. He didn’t know what to say to that so he just bumped his shoulder against Mick’s.

“Umm… Maxi?” Mick asked after a short moment of silence. “Is it just me or is the sky turning red?”

“That’s the sun. It  _ is _ half past five,” Maxi said, amused at Mick’s expression. It looked like the younger boy wasn’t sure how he should react to that.

“Oh…”

“You know what the sad thing is though?” Mick turned to look at him questioningly. “We’ve been gone the whole night and no one has even  _ texted  _ to check if we’re still alive.”

“Charles has probably already opened a bank account in Switzerland and is transfering all our money there as we speak,” Mick said emotionlessly with a shrug as if that was just another part of life. It was seriously impressive how he’d managed to keep a straight face.

Maxi just had to laugh at the image Mick had put in his head. “Okay. But Mick?”

“Yeah?”

“ _ What money? _ ” 


	10. Chapter 10

Maxi had managed to actually have a decently fun night but that didn’t mean he didn’t think about what he knew he had to do as they slowly walked back to their flat. He didn’t know how seeing Callum would make him feel. Angry? Miserable? Maybe just nothing at all. That would have been even worse than being devastated.

Mick didn’t try to pull him into a conversation. He just slipped his hand into Maxi’s and let Maxi have his moment of peace. Maxi was really grateful for this silent comfort Mick offered.

Callum was sitting on the couch when they came in and he looked awful. Maxi momentarily felt guilty for having fun with Mick without even considering Callum’s feelings for a second. But then he reminded himself Callum had himself to blame for this. The thought made him feel even more guilty and maybe a bit angry. Why couldn’t he even be properly mad at the Brit without feeling like he was doing something awful?

Mick’s voice rang in his head. _In love_. Was that what it was? Was that the reason Maxi found himself unable to hurt Callum, even in his thoughts, even though he may have deserved it?

Mick gave his hand one last comforting squeeze before making his way to his own room. Maxi watched his back as he closed the door behind himself quietly, probably not wanting to wake Charles up. If he even was asleep at all in the first place.

Alone with Callum, Maxi didn’t know what to do. Callum opened his mouth as if he was going to say something but then closed it again and looked away with a frown.

“Sorry I just left. I needed to clear my head.” He wondered if he was explaining his actions for Callum’s or maybe rather his own sake. He really needed to learn to stop feeling so guilty when he’d obviously done nothing wrong. Or had he?

Callum shook his head. “It’s cool.” Maxi decided he probably meant it. “Charles suggested we go out too but I just didn’t really feel li-...” He trailed off, looking at Maxi uncertainly. “Not that you should care.”

Maxi frowned. “Of course I care,” he exclaimed. He felt angry - mostly at himself - that Callum could even think he didn’t. Combined with the anger he had been feeling even before he came into the flat and the sudden helplessness, he realised he was tired. Tired of the whole situation, obviously. But also actually _physically_ exhausted. He needed to get some sleep before he could try to explain what had happened or else he’d just keep snapping at Callum for the silliest things.

But even so, he still couldn’t help feeling sorry for Callum. Despite all the hurt he was feeling, there was that need to make sure Callum was okay. Maxi didn’t know what to do with it.

Callum widened his eyes at the sudden outburst.

Maxi sighed and sat down next to him. ”Don’t ever think such things, okay? I _do_ care. Even if I am mad.” He waited until Callum nodded dumbly. “Have you spent the whole night torturing yourself with thoughts like this?”

“I couldn’t sleep,” Callum confessed. He was staring at Maxi like he was seeing him for the first time. “I’ll take a nap later.”

“We’ll talk,” Maxi said. “But I need to get some sleep first or I might pass out.”

Callum stared at him for a long time. “Are you okay? You don’t seem…” _to hate me that much_.

“I’m feeling awesome, actually,” Maxi assured him, the sentence getting lost in a yawn. “It’s either Mick overdose or sleep deprivation. Or too much fast food and ice creams _and_ coffee.”

The corners of Callum’s mouth twitched. “Go to bed,” he advised with a soft, understanding smile. _Tired_. “I won’t disappear.”

It felt so normal, _too_ normal. Maxi found himself wanting to kiss Callum before he remembered they shouldn’t do that. And that nothing was normal anymore.

“Three hours,” he promised. “Then we’ll talk.”

 

***

 

Maxi was awoken by a noise which turned out to be Callum putting his laptop on to charge.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you up.” He was holding himself stiffly. He didn’t look any better than when Maxi had left him in the living room.

“It’s fine,” Maxi mumbled into the pillow with a smile. He was feeling sleepy and lazy. All he wanted to do was to pull Callum down and then cuddle up to him so that they could both get some more sleep. Callum looked like he really needed it. Then he remembered what had happened. He frowned with a sigh.

“We should talk,” he decided, turning onto his back. He didn’t like this new Callum who looked like he was about to break down and he wanted him gone as quickly as possible. Even if it meant forcing his own body to wake up faster than it would have liked to.

“You sure you don-” He shut up when Maxi looked at him pointedly. “We should,” he agreed. He glanced at the bed and Maxi expected him to sit down but he didn’t. “I don’t know where to start,” he admitted hopelessly.

“What’s her name?” Maxi asked. He was surprised to find that he was genuinely curious and not in the masochistic way.

Callum stopped breathing. He looked at Maxi pleadingly. “Don’t.”

Maxi frowned. “I’m not being an arsehole. I just-”

“I’ll break up with her,” Callum exclaimed suddenly. Maxi gaped at him. “I’ll get my phone right this instant and call her. Just…” _Just say you want me to_.

The unfinished thought was hanging between them, thickening the air. Maxi didn’t think he’d be able to stand the tension much longer. He had Callum in front of him, practically confessing, telling him he’d break up with his girlfriend for him, and Maxi… Maxi couldn’t make sense of the mess in his head. And his heart.

Usually, he was pretty logical. He knew what was the thing he _should_ do and did it. And suddenly Callum appeared. Maxi was torn. He knew he _should_ tell Callum to leave him alone but he didn’t _want_ to. The very thought was killing him.

Callum smiled sadly, apparently taking Maxi’s confusion for rejection. “It’s okay,” he said. He turned to go back to the living room but Maxi grabbed his wrist. He didn’t know he was going to do it and even with his fingers wrapped around Callum’s arm he still had no clue what he was doing.

“I…” He swallowed audibly.

Callum was frowning at him but the dejected look was gone, replaced with not so faint flickers of hope in his eyes.

“Sit down?” Maxi pulled him down until Callum had no other choice but to comply. There were so many questions Maxi wanted to ask. He wasn’t sure where to start. “Does she know?”

Callum sighed and shook his head. “I didn’t mean to lie to you. And I didn’t mean to cheat. God, I can imagine how this must look to you.” He leaned forward to prop his elbows on his knees and hide his head in his hands.

Maxi’s hand hovered over his back. In the end he let it rest between Callum’s shoulder blades. He felt Callum go even stiffer before he relaxed under the touch. Maxi shifted so that he was closer to Callum. He was basically half-hugging him now. “Why didn’t you tell me?” It might have been the question Maxi wanted to hear the answer to the most.

“I wanted to. It just…”He shrugged.

“Start at the beginning,” Maxi suggested.

Callum nodded and straightened up. “I kind of liked you since we first met. But it was just like… I thought you seemed to be a nice guy and that you were handsome but that’s not a reason to break up with the girl you’ve been with since secondary school.”

Maxi whistled. “That’s a long time.” His longest relationship in secondary school lasted six months. And since then he didn’t really have time for relationships which required more effort than several dates.

Callum smiled weakly. “We probably should’ve broken up after graduation. But it was okay, I guess. You know, there was no _actual_ reason to break up.” He finally gathered up enough courage to sit on the bed properly, cross-legged, facing Maxi. Now that he had started speaking, he looked slightly better already, like some of the weight had been lifted from his chest. Maxi wondered how long he’d been dealing with this, feeling like he had no one to talk to.

“I thought I would just stay in the UK for the internship but then I decided I had nothing to lose coming here instead. I suppose when we started becoming friends I realised that I wanted something more from life than the same people I’ve known since I was a toddler. Maybe I did hope I’d run into you but it wasn’t the main reason. And when Charles said he had some friends who could put me up I had no clue he meant you. Otherwise I wouldn’t have…” He frowned. “Okay, so maybe that’s a lie. I would have agreed anyway.”

He got lost in his thoughts but Maxi didn’t rush him. It was finally hitting him how much Callum must have been struggling with everything those past few months. Not that it made him any better about the situation they found themselves in.

“That’s not important though,” Callum said, shaking his head. “I don’t think I considered you to be anything more than a friend at that point, anyway. You never asked if I had a girlfriend so I never said anything. I didn’t mean to keep her a secret but it felt so good being here with you all and I… It felt like I was starting over, you know what I mean? New place, new people. Bringing any of my old friends into this felt wrong. Besides, it’s not exactly easy to just casually bring up the fact that you have a girlfriend in a conversation. It used to be at the beginning but now I don’t really feel the need to talk about her all the time.”

Maxi nodded slowly when Callum made a longer pause. “Why didn’t you just break up with her?”

Callum laughed humorlessly. “Ending a five-year relationship over the phone would be a dick move.”

Maxi couldn’t really disagree with that. “Would’ve been better than cheating,” he muttered before he could think about his words. He felt a pang in his chest when Callum winced like he’d just been slapped. Even if he deserved this, it still pained Maxi to hurt him.

“I should’ve done it anyway, I know. If I had ever thought _this_ ,” he pointed at the two of them, “would happen, I would have. I wasn’t going to have sex with you. I forgot myself because I really, _really_ wanted to…” He paused and dug the heels of his palms into his eyes. “After that I was afraid to tell you. I had no idea how you would react. And I was too scared to break up with her. Each time I tried to, I remembered I’d be coming back there in a couple of months or convinced myself you didn’t-” He stared at Maxi with a startled expression, like he just realised what he was saying. But Maxi was too upset to notice the unfinished sentence.

“So you thought it’d be better to just keep cheating on her with me?” He finally understood what had been bothering him the most. He felt like he didn’t really know Callum. And he felt used. It was as if Callum had just decided to have some fun with him and then go back to his girlfriend and no one would be any the wiser. He knew thinking such things was unfair on Callum but he didn’t think Callum had any idea how it stung.

Callum widened his eyes. He was shaking his head frantically. “If you’re thinking what I think you’re thinking… _No_ .” He sat down on his heels and put his hands on Maxi’s shoulders. “I _do_ like you. You’ve no idea how much. And it’s been killing me to keep this secret from you.”

“Then why did you? You could’ve just told me.” Maxi wasn’t sure where the anger came from and why in that moment and not when he first found out Callum had a girlfriend but he didn’t even try to control it. “Did you want to keep this secret from me forever? Or did you want to act like this never happened?”

Callum closed his eyes. “Maxi, I _don’t know_ . I didn’t want to lose you. I _don’t_ want to lose you.” He moved away from Maxi.

“You don’t expect me to just forgive you like this, right?”

Callum gave him a sad smile and shook his head. “I don’t think I have the right to expect _anything_ from you right now.”

Maxi looked down at the sheets. He wanted to protest but couldn’t find the words.

“How come Charles had no idea?”

Callum shrugged. “I never told him. And neither did Antonio. He…” he frowned, looking for the right words. “We’re mates but I don’t think we’re close enough for him to talk about me to other people.” He considered something for a moment. “I think Antonio likes her. She would sometimes hang out with us and Antonio always asked about her and said how lucky I was and so on. Maybe I should have… Not that it matters now.”

Maxi sighed heavily, running his hands down his face. “I need to think.”

“I’ll get my things out of your room.”

“My…? No,” Maxi protested quickly. Callum started, not having expected Maxi to react in such a way. “This is your room too.” It really would have felt wrong to kick Callum out of there. Even if the thought of sleeping in the same bed made Maxi a bit dizzy. And not in the good way this time.

“Are we okay?” Callum asked tentatively. The way he was staring made Maxi feel like Callum saw him as some sort of a time bomb. He didn’t know what Callum was expecting him to do. Punch him? Finally decide to start a fight? Laugh at him?

Maxi shrugged. “We’re friends, okay?  _ Just _ friends.” He felt like something in his chest was being torn apart as he said those words but he knew they needed to be said anyway.

Callum’s face fell but he nodded. “We’re friends.”


	11. Chapter 11

Maxi came out of his room exactly one week later to find suitcases by the front door. “You’re going somewhere?” He asked Charles who was struggling with one of them, which was overflowing with clothes. Maxi took pity on him. But even with his help, it still took a lot of effort to get it closed. By the time they had managed to do that, they were both panting and wiping sweat from their foreheads. 

“I need water,” Charles gasped out, standing up with difficulty and heading to the kitchen with Maxi following close behind.

Mick grinned at them over his laptop. “Have you managed to close it?” He asked innocently.

“Yeah, no thanks to you,” Maxi replied and Mick blew him a kiss.

“Monaco,” Charles said, a reply to Maxi’s earlier question. “Antonio’s got me a job.” His eyes widened as if he’d just said a bad word. Maxi had to bite at the inside of his cheek not to laugh out loud. Apparently, he had missed the part where Maxi said he had nothing against Antonio and that he and Callum were friends.

“That’s amazing,” he exclaimed, genuinely happy. “Not that I want to get rid of you. Actually, I might even miss you.”

Mick nodded with a mock-solemn expression. “Yes, we’ll obviously miss _you_. Not your part of the rent.”

“Arseholes,” Charles said, sticking his tongue out at Mick. “I’m gonna go check if I hadn’t left anything.”

“He’s gonna forget something,” Mick whispered theatrically when Charles disappeared. “But that’s good news for me. I’m gonna be a good friend and drive all the way to Monaco _just_ to return it.” He pretended to consider something for a moment. “Of course, I might stay a bit longer. You know, just to make sure he’s eating properly and so on.”

Maxi shook his head with a smile. “How thoughtful of you.”

“Oh and, in case you were wondering,” Mick added, lowering his voice to a real whisper, “it is an actual job this time.”

The image of Antonio and Charles… well, yeah… appeared in Maxi’s head and he snorted. That wasn’t something he thought would ever happen but you never really knew with Charles. It was just the question of going about it the right way and you could get him to do pretty much anything.

Mick was watching him with that knowing look in his eyes once again and Maxi turned his back to him. He didn’t know how much longer he’d be able to stand it. Mick never really said anything, just stared. And that was not so slowly beginning to get on Maxi’s nerves.

He knew Mick had his doubts about Maxi and Callum being friends but that was silly. It’d been a week and they were fine. Sure, Maxi found himself kicking Charles out of Mick’s bed on the first night so that he could sleep there. And there was that one time Callum walked in on him getting dressed and then didn’t look him in the eye for two days. But these things happen. They could still hang out. Okay, so usually it was with Charles and/or Mick there but what was wrong with that? And yeah, it didn’t happen as often as it used to but Maxi had his exams to think about. They were _fine_.

Maxi knew he was kidding himself, and doing a poor job of that, but he didn’t know what else he was supposed to do. He felt stuck. He didn’t think he’d be able to not have Callum in his life anymore. But if things didn’t improve, he would probably have to deal with it. There was no other way. Even though just the thought of never seeing Callum again was too painful.

Maxi paused with a mug in his hand. He had been going to make himself a coffee but then changed his mind. Having put the mug down on the worktop, he sat on the chair opposite Mick. “Do you think I should hate her?”

Mick glanced up at Maxi from his laptop. “He still hasn’t broken up with her?” He asked incredulously.

“I don’t know,” Maxi admitted. Callum hadn’t said anything and Maxi wasn’t masochistic enough to bring the topic up.

Mick closed the laptop, rolling his eyes with a long-suffering sigh. “Maxi, I’ve told you what I think of all your _should_ ’s.”

Maxi bit his lip with a shrug. Mick _had_ done that. On multiple occasions. And he was probably right but Maxi had bigger problems to worry about in that moment. So he ignored the comment. “Should I hate _him_?”

“I’m sorry,” Mick said, shaking his head with a laugh, “but you _can’t_ hate him. You just wouldn’t be able to even if you wanted. I can’t believe you haven’t realised that yet.”

“I _don’t_ want to,” Maxi muttered. He got up to make himself that coffee. He could feel Mick _still watching him_.

“Do you really want to know what I think?”

Maxi shrugged. He didn’t dare to turn around. His cheeks were getting progressively warmer with every passing second and he didn’t want Mick to see that. To be honest, he didn’t want to look at Mick either.

“I think you’re going to be miserable unless you give him a second chance.” Mick kept his tone carefully neutral but Maxi got the implied _I love you but you’re a moron_. He almost smiled.

“So what, I should just forgive him?” Maxi asked, not even trying to hide the incredulity he was feeling.

“You _have_ forgiven him,” Mick said slowly, like he was explaining something obvious to a little kid.

Maxi gaped at the coffee machine in front of him. Then he turned around to stare at Mick instead, his coffee forgotten once again. “He’s cheated.”

Mick raised an eyebrow. _No shit, Sherlock_.

“How do I know he won’t do it again?” Maxi realised his voice kept gaining in volume. Charles could probably hear them. Hear but maybe not quite understand. As for Callum… Maxi had no clue where he was. Hopefully out.

Mick shrugged. “You don’t. But for what it’s worth,” he added, walking up to Maxi and reaching around him to press the _on_ button on the coffee machine, “I doubt he’d cheat on you. I don’t have to repeat myself and tell you why, right?”

Maxi looked away from Mick’s face. He really wanted Mick to be right about this. “He’s lied to me.”

“About one thing.”

Maxi gaped at Mick. “Don’t you think that having a girlfriend is a pretty big thing to lie about?”

Mick shrugged. He couldn’t really disagree with that, no matter how much he would have liked to.

“I can’t tell if you’re playing devil’s advocate again or if you seriously believe I should…” _be with him_ , he didn’t finish. He guessed it was the latter because Mick was too stubborn about this to just be proving a point.

Mick smiled at him softly and that was all the answer Maxi needed.

“Why?”

“Hey, guys, how much beer do we have?”

They both widened their eyes and then turned to stare at the kitchen door in mild panic, wondering why Charles felt the need to shout the question from the other end of the flat. Especially since…

“Charles, you don’t drink beer,” Mick reminded him, glancing back at Maxi who shrugged.

“I know that,” Charles replied, appearing in the doorway. He had a huge grin on his face and that on its own was enough to make Maxi anxious. “It’s not for me. It’s for the party.”

Mick and Maxi nodded in sync as if that made perfect sense. Then Charles’s words finally sank in.

“The what?!”

 

***

 

Maxi had never thought the flat could have contained so many people. But trust Charles to make it work. And trust Charles to throw a goddamned party one day before he was supposed to leave for another country. It just assured Maxi in his suspicions that Charles must have been insane.

The size of the flat aside, Maxi couldn’t help wondering where Charles had found all those people. He was sure that he and Mick _combined_ had fewer friends. And Charles didn’t even live there! Well, not quite, at least. He didn’t have an actual job and he didn’t study. Maxi sometimes wondered how he could have afforded to do that, but he never got round to asking.

He wasn’t really in a partying mood. It was well past ten and Callum still hadn’t returned from… wherever he had disappeared to before midday. Maxi was beginning to wonder if maybe it was the right time to start worrying. He couldn’t stop thinking about what Mick had told him. To be honest, all he wanted to do was to lock himself in his room and bury himself in the pile of books and notes waiting for him on his desk. And the bed. And the carpet… You could always tell the exams were coming up because Maxi’s room turned from spotlessly clean to a mess which could rival the one in Mick’s room. Even with Charles there.

Mick and Charles were huddled in the corner of the room, discussing something animatedly. They were both wearing smirks which made Maxi pray to God they were deciding whose drink to spike or whom to dare to streak down the street or where to fuck… Anything as long as it had nothing to do with Maxi and he had a pressing suspicion it had _everything_ to do with him. Especially when Callum finally walked through the door and suddenly both of them went quiet, exchanging knowing looks, and then headed in his direction.

Maxi busied himself with throwing away some empty bottles, which meant he’d lost sight of them. He _almost_ thought he was out of danger when suddenly they appeared next to him as if from nowhere, Callum sandwiched between them, his expression the definition of bewilderment as he looked around the packed out room.

“So,” Mick started with a sweet grin, which activated Maxi’s fight-or-flight response, “we’ve been telling Callum here how you never dance unless you’re drunk out of your mind.”

Maxi raised an eyebrow, knowing Mick well enough to expect the punchline coming his way. He just wasn’t sure what exactly it would be yet.

It was Charles who spoke next. “He’s decided to change that.”

Maxi made a grabbing move towards Mick but he and Charles had both managed to escape before he could say or do anything. Mick sent him one last pointed look over his shoulder, mouthing _talk_.

“For the record,” Callum said, making Maxi start. He’d forgotten the Brit was still standing there. “I did nothing of the sort.”

Maxi nodded. “I know. And you did see me dancing when I was completely sober.”

Callum inhaled sharply. Maxi knew they were both remembering that night. And what happened after the dancing.

They stared at each other for a long while. It was a tense silence. The kind they hadn’t experienced for quite some time now. Maxi wasn’t sure what he wanted Callum to do next. He couldn’t tell if the dread in the pit of his stomach was because his friends were evil sods or because he was wishing they’d been telling the truth. He couldn’t help wanting Callum close to him.

“I’m not gonna ask you to dance,” Callum said and Maxi’s stomach dropped even though he cursed himself immediately for feeling disappointed. He wasn’t supposed to want to dance with Callum. “But can we maybe…?” Instead of finishing the thought, he nodded towards the balcony and Maxi nodded, albeit hesitantly. The only moments he was alone with Callum now were when they were sleeping. And they both always made sure not to go to bed at the same time. They waited until the other was pretending to be asleep and only then came into the room. That was a foolproof way to avoid awkward silences and uncomfortable small talk. Or any other talk for that matter.

The surprisingly cold May air cut across their skin as they stumbled outside.

“I felt suffocated in there,” Callum confessed pointing back towards the flat. “I didn’t know we were going to have a party.”

Maxi huffed a laugh, almost against himself. “We’re as surprised as you are.”

Callum frowned. Then realisation flitted across his features. “Charles.”

Maxi nodded.

Silence settled over them. Maxi could see that Callum was thinking about something intently and he didn’t interrupt him. It wasn’t like he knew what to say, anyway. He was afraid Callum was going to bring up… things Maxi didn’t want to talk about anymore. But before he could, his phone rang.

Callum shot Maxi a weird look. He reached into the pocket of his jeans and glanced at the caller’s ID.

“It’s… uh…” he trailed off but he didn’t have to say anything for Maxi to understand. _His girlfriend_. Or maybe ex-girlfriend? Maxi doubted that.

Callum accepted the call and pressed the phone to his ear, studying Maxi. That weird expression was still on his face.

Maxi turned to leave but Callum’s hand on his forearm stopped him. There was something in the Brit’s expression… Maxi couldn’t put a name to it but he knew Callum had something in mind. He probably should have expected it, he thought when he remembered the night later. But he didn’t. He just stared back at Callum as he listened to his half of the conversation. It felt like Callum’s touch was burning his skin. Maxi never wanted him to let go.

Callum was silent for a long while. It looked like the girl on the other end was telling some story or maybe just telling her boyfriend about the day she’d had and thinking about Callum as someone else’s boyfriend had Maxi biting his tongue and reminding himself to _breathe_. Callum closed his eyes, his fingers digging into the skin of Maxi’s arm almost painfully, as he took a shaky breath.

“Hey, Em? Em, wait a second.” The fingers on Maxi’s arm were turning white. “I… We should break up.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've edited the first chapter. Nothing major, mostly some descriptions and more details because the pacing was off. So you don't have to reread it

Neither of them spoke since Callum had hung up ten minutes earlier. Maxi watched him from what he considered to be a _safe distance_ though even he didn’t know what exactly that was supposed to mean.

“How a-… Are you okay?”

As soon as the call was over, Callum let go of Maxi’s arm and turned towards the Munich skyline. He had his fingers squeezing the concrete balustrade and his back bowed. Maxi couldn’t tell if he was crying. The sounds of cars and people below them was mixing with the loud music coming from inside the flat. Maxi was surprised the police hadn’t showed up yet.

“I don’t know,” Callum whispered. Maxi had to come closer to be able to make out the words. “I guess I’m panicking a bit.”

Maxi nodded even though Callum couldn’t see it. “You’ve… you were together for a long time.” He was surprised when Callum shook his head.

“That’s not why I’m panicking.”

Maxi looked down. He had a feeling he knew what Callum meant.

 _I’m in love with someone else -_  Callum’s words echoed in his head. He could close his eyes and live through that moment again, it was so vivid in his memory. Callum’s fingers sliding down Maxi’s arm to wrap around his wrist, his thumb stroking over the veins there. Maxi knew he was that _someone else_. It was the confession he’d been waiting to hear. Even if he hadn’t realised just how much he needed it.

Maxi was jerked back to the present moment when Callum sighed and finally turned around, letting go of the balustrade. “I know it doesn’t change anything,” he said, giving Maxi a sad smile. “But I meant it.” His cheeks were dry but his eyes were glassy. And he sounded choked up too.

Maxi bit his lip and glared up at the starless sky. He wanted so much to just hug Callum… To kiss him and say that everything would be alright. And then walk back inside with his arm wrapped around him for everyone to see. To take him to their room and keep him in bed for the whole day, exams and everyone else be damned. But he just _couldn’t_.

“I-” The words died on his tongue when he realised Callum was suddenly standing right in front of him.

“I hate myself so much right now,” Callum confessed, his arms crossed on his chest like he wanted to protect himself from the rest of the world. Maxi hated how, in this scenario, he counted as that rest of the world.

“You didn’t have to break up with her,” Maxi said softly. He had to shove his hands into the pockets of his jeans so that he wouldn’t put them anywhere near Callum. It was getting really hard not to comfort him.

 _I’m in love with someone else_...

Callum smiled humorlessly. “I did,” he insisted. “I should’ve done it a long time ago.”

“Callum…” Maxi whispered. He was about to do something unforgivable and he knew that. But did that really matter? He’d give anything to get that look off Callum’s face and see him smile again. And to be honest, he had other, more selfish reasons too.

 _In love with_ me.

Callum moved one step forward and their chests were almost touching. “I’m not sure you care,” he said in a low voice, “but I really am sorry.” He pressed a quick kiss to Maxi’s cheek and wanted to walk away but Maxi grabbed his hand. Callum narrowed his eyes at him.

Maxi swore under his breath before pulling Callum closer. “I’ve told you - I _do_ care.” And then he forced the annoying voice in the back of his mind to shut up as he kissed Callum. Despite the glass door. Despite all the people who could see them from the windows and the street and their flat. Despite knowing how this was the wrong thing to do…Or was it? It can’t have been wrong if it made Maxi feel like his heart was piecing itself together.

“What…?” Callum started saying but Maxi interrupted him with another kiss. He felt giddy. He wanted to stand on that balcony, holding Callum for the rest of his life.

He broke the kiss but kept Callum close to his chest, hooking his chin on Callum’s shoulder. “I don’t know why I did that” A lie. _In love_. But Maxi knew he was trying to convince himself rather than Callum anyway. “I wish I could stay away from you,” he confessed quietly.

Callum’s hands came up to fist at the back of Maxi’s T-shirt. He took a shaky breath and hid his face against Maxi’s shoulder. He was trembling slightly in Maxi’s arms.

“I don’t want you to stay away from me.”

 

***

 

The breakfast the next morning was worth having to survive that party. Charles’s face had a sickly greenish shade to it which contrasted with the red of his bloodshot eyes. Maxi barely managed to stifle a laugh when he first saw him. Despite the heavy feeling in his stomach. _Guilt?_

He’d kissed Callum. Even though he was supposed not to do that. And he wanted to do it again. He wanted to do it as long as Callum would let him. That and so much more.

“Will you drive me to the airport?”

Mick raised his head off his folded arms to stare at Charles like he had gone mad. He looked much better than Charles, though that might have been just because...“I’m pretty sure I’m still drunk.”

Callum’s shoulders shook where he was making himself a coffee. He sounded like he was choking in his attempts not to laugh out loud.

Charles turned to look at Maxi pleadingly instead.

Maxi shook his head. “There’s a pile of notes waiting for me in my room.” He already spent the previous evening _not_ studying. He really couldn’t afford to lose any more time.

“Callum.” Charles grinned but it looked more like he was trying not to throw up.

Callum started when he heard his name. He finally turned to them to look at Charles. And very overtly _not_ look at Maxi. “I’d drive you but I don’t have a car.”

“You’re too nice to him,” Mick mumbled to the table. “You can take mine.”

 

***

 

With Charles not there anymore, it got eerily quiet in the flat. Which turned out to be pretty convenient since Mick and Maxi spent most of the time studying. Though they both considered _most of the time_ to mean slightly different things. Whereas Mick would spend several hours a day studying and then focus on different things, like eating or showering for example, Maxi would have to be dragged away from his books. Usually, Mick would regularly bring him food and stand in the middle of his room, glaring at him, until Maxi gave up and agreed to go to bed. But this time Callum was the one to play the babysitter.

“You’re going to kill yourself,” he said one night, once he’d managed to convince Maxi that no matter how long he’d stay up, he wouldn’t learn anything else because he was basically falling asleep over the notebook. Now with Maxi finally lying on the mattress next to where Callum was sitting with his knees pulled up to his chest, Callum decided to be brave and start a conversation. “You don’t have to work _that_ hard, you know.”

Maxi shook his head with a grimace. He shifted around again, trying to find a comfortable position but the mattress suddenly seemed too soft and the blanket too scratchy and the pillow too lumpy and… and his brain was way too loud for him to even keep his eyes closed.

Callum didn’t get it. Maxi really did have to work that hard. You didn’t become a good engineer by barely passing your exams. Maxi had already almost failed once, the very first term actually, and he was never going to do that again. He always remembered to learn from his mistakes.

“Maxi.” Callum’s voice sounded soft and Maxi wanted to turn to face him and pull him down until he was lying on his back so that Maxi could snuggle up to him and fall asleep in his arms. He cared so much and it made Maxi hate himself. Callum didn’t deserve all that. There was something in Callum’s voice which almost made Maxi stop thinking about all the things he still had to revise and relearn a thousand times. Almost. “Talk to me?” His hand hovered over Maxi’s shoulder but then he caught himself and withdrew it.

They’d been doing great keeping their relationship a friendship. Physical contact at that point probably wouldn’t have been a good idea. Though Maxi wouldn’t have cared. This time, it was only Callum who had to forcefully remind himself they weren’t together. Maxi was way too absorbed in his studies to even notice.

“What about?” Maxi muttered. He didn’t bother hiding his annoyance. He didn’t really get irritated that often but he had been feeling on edge. Too little sleep, too much stress, and half-eaten meals would put anyone in a bad mood.

He was expecting Callum to say something about studying too much. But after a long pause, Callum suddenly changed the topic.

“I’m leaving soon,” he said quietly, avoiding looking at Maxi.

Maxi blinked into the darkness, staring at the faint outline of his door. “Leaving?” He repeated in a voice which didn’t sound like his own. He didn’t turn to look at Callum.

He had got so used to Callum being there, he forgot it wasn’t supposed to be forever. But he didn’t appreciate suddenly being reminded of Callum going back… well, back home, Maxi realised with a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. Somehow he had managed to forget Germany wasn’t Callum’s actual home.

He liked the idea less and less.

“When is soon?” Maxi asked.

Callum sighed behind him. “First week of June.”

Maxi’s heart stopped. Less a month. Three fucking weeks was all the time he had left with Callum. And he knew he’d spend it surrounded with books. The exams were starting in less than a week. He blinked quickly as if that would soothe the burning in his eyes.

“Just thought I’d remind you,” Callum said. “Goodnight.”

Maxi didn’t reply. He didn’t trust his voice. He didn’t trust himself not to do anything stupid. There was no shuffling behind him so he assumed Callum was still sitting there, hugging his knees to his chest and staring at the wardrobe across from the bed.

_Three weeks_

 

***

 

“Maxi, this is insane.”

Mick was standing over him with his hands on his hips and glaring at Maxi like he wished he could kill him just with his eyes. But when Maxi stubbornly kept studying the book in his lap, Mick lost whatever had been left of his patience. He yanked the book out of Maxi’s grasp and threw it to the other side of the room.

“What the-?”

“Listen to me for a minute,” Mick interrupted him forcefully. Maxi knew better than to piss him off any further. Mick could be really scary when he was mad. “He is leaving in two weeks,” he said slowly, carefully pronouncing each word as if Maxi’s German wasn’t good enough for him to understand him at a normal pace.

“I know,” he replied evenly.

Mick’s lips became a thin line.

“I can’t fail these exams!”

“I’m going to kill you,” Mick muttered. “Don’t you care at all?”

Maxi gritted his teeth. “Of course I do. That’s why I’ve been trying to study.”

For a second Maxi thought Mick was going to actually start throwing stuff. But then his expression morphed into one of pure determination.

“Oh no, you’re not getting rid of me this easily. You know damn well I don’t mean your goddamned exams.”

Maxi didn’t say anything. He knew he was playing with fire but Mick was hitting way too close to home. He wondered what it would take to make Mick angry enough to finally leave him in peace. Would a moment of peace even be worth having Mick’s wrath directed at him?  

“You love him,” Mick exclaimed after the silence had dragged on for too long. “So why don’t you go and _tell him that_?”

Maxi felt like his heart was breaking apart. _Two weeks._

“I don’t have time for this now,” he muttered, getting up to pick up his book.”I don’t want to hear another word about it. I’ve got more important things to do.”

Mick looked like he thought he must have misheard. “More… important…” he mumbled slowly as if convincing himself Maxi had actually said that. Then he shook his head with a huff and finally left Maxi’s room.

Maxi certainly didn’t spend good part of an hour breathing evenly so he wouldn’t cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be the last chapter BUT it didn't go quite as I had planned. And I decided I liked it better this way


	13. Chapter 13

He didn’t get to say goodbye to Callum. It wasn’t intentional but when he realised he figured it was better this way. He carried on with his life, failing, or maybe rather refusing, to notice how the flat was a bit too empty. Mick wasn’t talking to him. He wasn’t even looking at him anymore. Which should have worried Maxi since Mick always glared when he was mad. Sometimes he would bring Maxi a sandwich but it was nothing like what he used to do. He didn’t even come to check if Maxi bothered going to sleep. 

It wasn’t until his last exam was over that the reality of everything finally got to Maxi. And got to him hard. Mick walked into the flat to find him crying on the couch with his face in his hands. It was like his body had just decided to thank him for the sleepless nights and missed meals. He suddenly realised how exhausted and miserable he was. 

Maxi didn’t really cry that often but that only meant that when he did, it was for real. Like the  _ can’t stop no matter how hard you try and your chest is tight, so that you’re gasping for air, and you still can’t get a grip despite the splitting headache _ kind of crying.

For a moment Maxi was sure Mick would just leave him like this and go to his own room. He wanted him to even. Maxi knew he had certainly done his best to deserve all this. It was his own fault and he would never try to deny it.

Mick sighed from where he was standing by the front door. “You’re an idiot,” he mumbled but there was no anger behind it. If anything, he sounded tired. Nowhere near as exhausted as Maxi felt but still nothing like his usual chirpy self. 

Maxi nodded with a weak laugh which sounded a bit like he was choking on air. “I know,” he agreed without raising his head from his hands.

He hadn’t heard from Callum in three weeks.

A door was opened and closed twice and then Mick put something on the coffee table in front of him. Maxi looked up to see a glass with some amber-coloured liquid at the bottom. Alcohol. Maxi certainly could use some of that. 

He took two big gulps and cringed. “I hate whiskey,” he mumbled, even though Mick already knew that. 

“I don’t even know why we  _ have _ whiskey, to be honest.” Mick sat down next to him, their knees touching. He was watching Maxi with an unreadable expression, no hint of any sparkles in his eyes. God, how much Maxi wanted him to smile and say something stupid. Or at least stop looking so subdued.

“I’m sorry,” Maxi mumbled. He couldn’t bring himself to look at Mick.

Mick sighed heavily and finally averted his eyes. His lips were pursed and there was a line between his browns. “I know,” he said after a long while. 

He put his arms around Maxi, pulling him to his chest and running his hands up and down Maxi’s back gently. Neither said anything as Maxi pulled his legs up onto the couch and let himself cry into Mick’s T-shirt, trying not to wish it was Callum comforting him instead. 

 

***

 

The holidays weren’t as fun as they should have been, Maxi decided. At the beginning of July he tried to text Callum and apologise. But he didn’t think there were words which would express exactly how sorry he was. A simple  _ I’m sorry for being a dick and for ignoring you and I’m so in love with you, you have no idea but I’m an idiot _ … wouldn’t do. So he found himself typing out, deleting, and then retyping all the various apologies he could think of every day for a week before finally giving up. 

At least Mick didn’t seem to be too mad anymore. It was almost like it used to be. A year earlier. Back when Maxi had no idea Callum existed. Maybe he would’ve been happier if he’d never met the Brit? He quickly decided he wouldn’t. Even if it didn’t work out, he still thought it had been nice. Something to look back on with a smile, maybe. As soon as Maxi learnt how to think of Callum and not feel like bursting into tears, that is.

Mick was going to visit Charles in the middle of July. He was back to acting like he always had, even though he still was a bit too calm and quiet, and he wouldn’t let Maxi out of his sight. Obviously, he would have offered to take him to Monaco even if he wasn’t worried sick. Maxi wasn’t sure which one of them was more surprised when he refused. It was  _ Monaco _ for fuck’s sake. And yet, Maxi couldn’t bring himself to feel enthusiastic about it. The declination made Mick so concerned, it took Maxi three days to convince him it was fine and he really could be left on his own.

He regretted the decision when it turned out the flat was even more lifeless. Maxi needed something to do but nothing seemed good enough. He tinkered with some of the household appliances and then with his car and even went through all their cupboards in the kitchen to clean up. He tried to read but his mind kept wandering. He didn’t even dare come anywhere close to the TV. It reminded him of Callum too much. Having done all the laundry, wiped the dust twice, vacuumed the whole flat, and changed both his and Mick’s sheets, Maxi spent the days wandering around Munich for hours at a time, the music from his earphones almost managing to drown out his thoughts.

Mick called him everyday. Maxi didn’t know if he should feel touched or annoyed at Mick not trusting him to take care of himself. Mick surely had to have more interesting things to do than check in with Maxi who did absolutely nothing worth mentioning. But when he tried to suggest as much on the ninth day, Mick just shrugged him off and promised to call the next evening. Maxi gave up trying. He didn’t mind that much anyway. He kind of liked feeling like someone really cared. 

It was on the last day of July that the idea finally came to him. It was so obvious. But he had needed his mother to tell him that they were in the middle of a renovation that he suddenly remembered that, hey, he had parents! Whom he hadn’t seen since Christmas. And he could feel useful by helping them paint the walls or put together the furniture or carry heavy boxes. And getting to eat his mum’s food was a huge bonus. 

He was just finishing packing his bags, ready to leave the next morning, when his phone rang. Not bothering to check the caller’s ID since it was around the time that Mick usually called, he accepted. And was surprised to hear a vaguely familiar voice.

“Hello, Maxi? I’m not sure if you remember me.”

Maxi frowned, trying to place the heavily-accented German which sounded so distinct. He was sure he knew who it was. He just needed a second to…  “Rene?” Well, that was one person he didn’t expect to hear from. Ever. They met when Rene’s car battery died once and Maxi helped him. Ironic, considering he was the owner of a garage. They had chatted a bit. Maxi remembered telling him that he was about to start studying Mechanical Engineering. Rene had asked for his phone number and Maxi agreed without wondering what for. Then he forgot about the whole thing. He certainly wasn’t expecting a call after two years.

“Has something happened?”

“As a matter of fact, yes.” He didn’t sound particularly upset though, so Maxi figured it couldn’t be anything that awful. “You have holidays, right?”

Maxi frowned. “Yes. Until October,” he added. This conversation kept getting weirder. He might have thought Rene was drunk or something, but he sounded perfectly alright. Maybe a bit anxious at most.

“I know this is a bit last-minute but I’ve been trying to find a mechanic for months. So… I was wondering if you could maybe help out?”

Maxi blinked at his packed suitcase. He kind of wanted to see his parents. And  _ mechanic _ wasn’t exactly what he was going for. But on the other hand, working on cars was always a great way to take his mind off things. And he needed to be distracted. Very much.

He realised he’d been quiet for a beat too long when Rene started speaking again. He sounded almost frantic.

“Obviously, I understand you’ve got holidays and it’s perfectly okay if you-”

“It’s fine,” Maxi interrupted him. “Work experience always looks good on a CV, right?” He joked.  _ And I’ve nothing better to do _ . But he decided Rene didn’t need to know that.

“Work-…? Oh no, no, no.” Rene laughed. “No work experience. I want to give you a job.”

Maxi was sure he was making a hilarious face but he just hadn’t been expecting that. “A job?” He repeated.

“Yes. You said you had holidays until October, right? How about until then? Unless you have other plans?” 

_ A job _ , Maxi repeated in his head.  _ He’s offering me an actual job _ . 

“What? No. No, I don’t. When do I start?”

There was a long silence, followed by a nervous laugh. “How quickly can you get to Berlin?”

 

***

 

Maxi understood why Rene seemed so desperate to find a mechanic the moment he walked into the garage the next morning. The parking in front of the building was packed. Maxi was glad that he walked rather than drove there because the traffic was more like what he’d expect in Munich. Even weirder, considering the fact that the summer holidays were coming to an end in Berlin. 

Some elderly man with a bald patch and stomach sticking out over the belt was arguing with one of the mechanics. A young guy, he looked less than twenty. He turned to stare at Maxi pleadingly and apologetically at the same time. It looked a bit like he was going to have a breakdown. 

The old bloke’s face gained a purplish shade when he noticed no one was listening to him anymore.

“I’m sorry but we really can’t help you now,” the boy told him. Maxi frowned. Then he realised the guy apparently took him for a client. He smiled warmly.

“I don’t… I’m not…” He laughed at his own sudden lack of eloquence. “Rene said he had a job for me.”

“He did?” For a moment he thought the guy was going to kiss him. Maxi doubted anyone had ever looked this happy to see him before. The bloke with a bald-patch had been forgotten as the guy threw himself towards Maxi with an extended hand. 

“I am  _ so _ happy to meet you.” He shook Maxi’s hand, getting some oil on it. “Chris.” He had some accent Maxi couldn’t quite place but which irritated his ears. Maybe he’d just have to get used to it. Thankfully, Chris was much easier on the eyes than on the ears, with his dark, combed-back hair and blue eyes. Maxi thought they were almost as striking as Callum’s, though he doubted he could get lost in them the same way. Then he chastened himself for thinking about Callum once again.

“Maxi.” 

The purple-faced bloke cleared his throat, glaring at the two of them. Chris went red. “He’s in his office,” he told Maxi quickly before finally letting go of his hand. He pointed in the direction of a door and turned back to the man who looked like he was about to start yelling.

Feeling guilty about leaving Chris alone with him, Maxi headed for what he assumed to be Rene’s office. But before he could knock, the panelled glazed door opened and Rene emerged. He looked nowhere near as excited as Chris. But the huge relief was apparent. Maxi suddenly felt like he was some sort of a hero with the way people were looking at him. 

“Thank God, you’re here,” Rene exclaimed in lieu of a greeting, squeezing Maxi’s already abused hand. Thankfully, he was content with shaking it once and then letting go, absentmindedly wiping the oil on his dark trousers. “I saw you met Christoph?”

Maxi nodded. “He’s… umm… “

“About to get his head ripped off by the looks of it,” Rene finished, watching the scene over Maxi’s shoulder, and unwittingly relieving him of having to pick one adjective to describe Chris. “Excuse me for a second. You can wait in my office.” And he sauntered off in the direction of the sangria-coloured bloke and Chris who looked like he wanted someone to just put him out of his misery with one well-aimed shot. Maxi made a mental note to check if he was okay later as he entered Rene’s office.

It was small and surprisingly cozy. It didn’t feel like an actual office. If anything, it reminded Maxi of that shed/workshop thingy his father had in the garden. It was almost as if he’s mother was going to walk in at any second to say that the dinner was ready. He couldn’t keep from smiling when he saw the Ferrari calendar hanging on one of the walls. 

“A man can dream, eh?” Rene laughed as he walked in to find Maxi examining the small models of various cars that stood on the shelf hung next to the calendar. He was sure he saw a Bugatti there and at least two Maseratis. “Sit down.”

Rene walked over to his chair and slumped down onto it. There was a pile of papers on the desk. Rene motioned towards it. “I usually like to help the guys out in the garage but unfortunately nobody else can do  _ this _ .” The way he was cringing showed what he thought of it even better than his appalled tone. “I think there’s a contract somewhere in here though,” he added, eyeing the documents mistrustfully. “Come here after work and maybe I’ll have it.”

Maxi chuckled to himself. He felt more comfortable than he probably should have on his first day in a new job. In a new  _ city _ . But it was impossible to feel any kind of stress with Rene around. “I will but… when  _ is _ after work?”

Rene looked at him like Maxi had just asked a very strange question. “ _ Officially _ , the hours are seven to six with two shifts.” 

Maxi frowned. “Officially?”

Rene smiled at him. “You’ll see what I mean. Chris will tell you everything you need to know.”

Maxi nodded and stood up. He had his hand on the doorknob when Rene called his name. “Oh you might need to calm him down first. Mr Krause has that effect on people.”

 

***

 

“I’m fine,” Chris mumbled when Maxi caught up with him at the entrance. “I was just going for a smoke.” It was an invitation and Maxi took it as such.

He hesitated but then followed Chris outside. Chris smiled at him over his shoulder. They walked to the back of the building. There was a low wall, separating the garage from some old house with a sign  _ DO NOT ENTER _ .

Chris settled on the wall and patted the spot next to him. Maxi sat down and watched Chris take out a cigarette and light it up. He waved the pack at Maxi in a silent question. 

“I didn’t think you would, to be honest,” he admitted with a smile when Maxi shook his head. “I don’t usually smoke,” Chris mumbled thoughtfully, flicking off the ash. 

Maxi didn’t know what to say to that so he decided to change the topic instead. “Rene said you’d show me around and explain everything.”

Chris blinked at him. “Really?” He frowned. “I mean… Sure, I’ll do that. But I wasn’t expecting him to ask  _ me _ .”

“You’re new here too?” Maxi guessed.

Chris shrugged, taking a drag of his cigarette. “Suppose you could say that. I did an apprenticeship here earlier this year. And then Rene offered me a job.” He stared at the garage thoughtfully for a while. “He seems really desperate for more mechanics.”

Maxi couldn’t help but snort at that. Chris sent him a surprised look. “Sorry,” Maxi said, grinning widely for the first time in what felt like forever. “You just don’t sound very confident in your abilities.”

Chris blushed and looked away with a shrug, a small smile playing in the corners of his lips. “Didn’t really mean it like that.” 

“How old are you then?” Maxi asked. Assuming he did the apprenticeship for school, Maxi probably wasn’t that far off when he’d guessed he was less than twenty.

“I turned eighteen last week,” Chris replied with a grin. He looked like a little kid who just got something he really wanted. “I don’t suppose you’d like a drink?”

“Now?!”

Chris laughed. “Oh my God, no. In the evening.”

Maxi considered it for a moment as Chris put the cigarette out on the stone wall. He shrugged. “On one condition.”

Chris looked up at him with a smile. 

“First round’s on me. Consider it a late birthday gift.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realise I should be wrapping this up and I'll try to do that soon. And then I'll try to edit the whole thing because I'm not quite happy with the pacing.

Maxi managed to convince Rene to let him work from seven to six, i.e. the whole day, though Rene insisted he took two one-hour breaks. Which wasn’t unbearable. Maxi had used some weak _I need all the experience I can get_ argument but it worked. So now he’d come to work early in the morning, work until nine which was when Chris would come in. Then he’d let Chris do most of the work. He took the first one hour break to walk around Berlin. It wasn’t Munich, he’d even say it was pretty much the opposite of Munich. But he was learning to like it. He liked the mismatched buildings that looked like two different cities joined together (which, basically, they were). He liked the liveliness and the constant noise. He even liked the accent though it made him feel slightly out of place with his faintly bavarian-coloured way of speaking.

He’d return to the garage and he and Chris would work together until two, have lunch, and then leave at six. Maxi loved the routine and he loved how easy spending time with Chris was. After less than a week, he had the suspicion he knew Chris almost as well as he did Mick. The guy really was an open book. He talked about everything from how that one girl in secondary school laughed him off when he asked her on a date to his mum’s _amazing_ cooking. Though Maxi got the impression scrambled eggs would be enough to impress Chris.

Maxi was very grateful for both the crazy amount of work he had to do and Chris’s talkativeness, because he didn’t even try _too_ hard not to think about Callum. Except at night, when he couldn’t sleep or, worse, had some stupid dream. _Stupid_ meaning _one that involved Callum_.

Sometimes they were dirty dreams. Those were the absolute worst. Maxi would lie in bed, so hard it almost hurt, and determinedly refusing to touch himself. He expected that with the amount of emotional turmoil and self-hatred thinking of Callum produced in him, he wouldn’t be even able to get hard. But apparently his body had other ideas.

So he stared at the ceiling and remembered the way Callum laughed at his bad jokes or slipped into the bed next to him, snuggling up to Maxi even before they pushed the boundaries past _friends_ . And, if he was in a particularly masochistic mood, he let himself think of kissing Callum or maybe even things like how Callum once climbed on top of him in the middle of the night, with Mick and Charles _in the next room_ , and then rocked their hips together until they both came, panting against each others’ lips.

After such nights, Maxi would come to the garage with dark circles under his eyes and exhaustion, not the one that came with lack of sleep but rather with torturing yourself mentally, clear in his face. The first time Chris asked him if he was alright. Maxi even played with the idea of telling him what was bothering him but decided it wasn’t something he wanted to talk about. Not even because it was extremely personal and Chris wasn’t quite his friend. It was just that he really hoped, knowing full well it wouldn’t work, that, if he avoided talking about Callum, he’d be able not to think about him.

 

***

 

Mick called him when he was leaving the garage one day.

“Oh so you are alive after all?” Maxi asked. He wasn’t angry. Amused maybe. He didn’t really have too much time to worry about not having heard from Mick for a week. Besides, he just assumed Mick was off having fun with Charles. Whatever fun meant.

“I wanted to pick out some flowers but I didn’t know if I should go for the wedding or the funeral kind,” Maxi said, not even trying to suppress a grin.

Chris gave him a weird look.

“You’re cracking jokes,” Mick exclaimed. Maxi could practically see his grin all the way from the other side of Europe. “And bad ones at that! Aww… It’s so nice to have you back.”

Maxi couldn’t help smiling. Mick hardly ever failed to get that reaction from him. “Seriously though, what have you been doing the whole week?” He paused for a moment. “Have you two eloped or something?”

Chris was outright staring at that point. There were amused sparkles in his eyes even though he had no clue what Maxi was on about. Maxi had told him about his flatmate being on holiday but he stopped at that. Chris was free to imagine whatever he wanted, listening to Maxi’s half of the conversation.

“We’re in Spain. Wait, no,” Mick paused. There was a loud cracking sound. “We _were_ in Spain. Charles, what have you done to that shelf?”

Maxi burst out laughing, making some people across the street glance at him. God, he missed Mick so much. He almost regretted not going with him to see Charles. And it just proved how fond he’d got of the idiot because missing Charles instead of Monaco wasn’t normal. “Spain?”

“Spontaneous road trip? We were in Italy and France too.”

Maxi’s heart ached a bit. As fun as working for Rene was - seriously, Maxi thought no job had a right to be this fun - he knew that driving around with his friends _and_ getting to see all those countries could have been even more fun. He had nothing against Chris, who was an awesome guy, but he wasn’t his _friends_. Nothing could ever replace Mick. Or Charles.

He determinedly didn’t think about Callum.

“I hope that wasn’t a honeymoon,” Maxi said, only half-jokingly.

“You’re an idiot.”

“I love you too,” Maxi replied, easily falling into their usual banter. He was glad to hear that he wasn’t the only one feeling better than a month earlier. Mick sounded as cheerful and bubbly as he always had. Maxi wished he could have hugged him.

There were some more strange noises, like something heavy had just fallen to the floor, followed by Mick’s exasperated muttering.

“Please tell me you’re not fucking,” Maxi asked teasingly.

“Nah, Charles is determined to demolish his entire flat by the looks of it.”

Maxi smiled to himself, imaging Charles accidentally breaking things as Mick looked on with a bored expression.

“Why are you suddenly so happy anyway?” Mick asked after a while. “Something fun happening in Munich?”

“I wouldn’t know.”

“What? Why?”

“Because I’m not there?”

“Wow, thanks.” Mick laughed. “Where are you then?”

“Berlin.”

“What?”

“Ber-lin. You know the capital-”

“I know, Maxi,” Mick said and Maxi could practically see him rolling his eyes. “But what are you doing there?”

“I’ve got a job.”

“Oh my god, that’s amazing!”

Hearing Mick so happy for him made Maxi’s heart grow. He heard Charles’s soft laughter, somewhere close to the phone, and then Mick’s sharp intake of breath.

“Hey, Maxi,” Charles said with another laugh but from the crackly sound his voice had, Maxi guessed Mick still had the phone pressed to his own ear. “Having fun?”

There was another gasp from Mick followed by Charles’s giggling and Maxi was torn between hanging up immediately and using the situation to make fun of Mick. Mick made the decision for him.

“I’ve gotta go now. I’ll call you… I’ll call you.”

The call disconnected and Maxi found himself grinning at the phone.

“Your friend sounds like an interesting guy,” Chris said next to him and Maxi started. When he looked up, Chris appeared to be trying very hard not to laugh.

“You’ve no idea,” he agreed.

The corner’s of Chris’s mouth were still twitching. “Where are we going?”

Maxi glanced at him in confusion. Then he looked around. It was the same street they took every time after work. He was sure they were going in the right direction. They would say goodbye at the next lights. Maxi would go left to his flat and Chris would carry on straight ahead. It was the same route as always.

“Oh, come on. It’s Friday,” Chris reminded him. “We should go out.”

Maxi considered it for a moment. He could probably use a break. “A movie?” he suggested.

“It’s like you’re reading my mind.”

 

***

 

He and Chris were leaving garage the next day, when Maxi felt his phone buzzing in his pocket again. Expecting that to be Mick, Maxi opened the message. And promptly stopped dead in his tracks. Chris walked several paces, still talking, before he realised Maxi wasn’t next to him anymore.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, turning around on his heel.

Maxi wondered what the expression on his face must have looked like and if it really warranted the concern plain in Chris’s eyes.

“I don’t understand…” Maxi muttered. He read the message once more but the words were still the same. As was the sender’s ID. It was pretty straightforward as far as messages go but that really wasn’t the point.

**Call me if you have time**

From Callum.

Just like that.

Did he really expect Maxi to just pick up his phone and give him a ring, with no clue what he should say? After two months?

Maxi glanced up at Chris who for once was keeping his mouth shut, just staring at Maxi questioningly. A fresh perspective couldn’t hurt, right?

“Let’s have a  drink,” Maxi said, grabbing Chris’s arm and dragging him in the opposite direction to where they’d been going, closer to the centre of Berlin.

 

***

 

Maxi stared at Chris eating his third slice of pizza, his own stomach feeling like it was tied into a thousand knots. He still hadn’t figured out how he should start the conversation. He’d tried calling Mick to ask for his advice but none of his four attempts had been successful. Maxi was torn between worrying - though he doubted anything horrible could have happened to Mick in the twenty-four hours since they’d last talked - and being mildly annoyed because Charles can’t have been taking up _that_ much of his time.

“Is it a girl?” Chris asked, swallowing a mouthful of pizza and washing it down with some beer.

Maxi hesitated. “It’s…” He bit his lip.

Chris was watching him with his head cocked to the side and narrowed eyes. “Is it a guy then?” He asked, shoving the rest of his pizza slice into his mouth.

Maxi felt his cheeks getting hotter even as he nodded, then shook his head. “Kind of?” He asked, shrugging. First of all, he needed to get Callum’s friendship back, then he’d worry about the rest.

Chris motioned for him to go on.

Maxi took a deep breath and looked down onto his hands which were resting on the table in front of him. “He did something stupid and then I did something even more stupid and we haven’t talked in two months but now he’s texted me and he wants me to call and what the fuck am I supposed to do?”

There was a long silence and Maxi finally looked up from his fingers. Chris was blinking at him with wide eyes. “Come again?”

Maxi sighed.

“No, hold up,” Chris said before Maxi could have even opened his mouth. “Maybe I’ll just ask the questions?”

Maxi shrugged. Part of his brain was protesting because he had no clue how deep Chris would want to dig but he really needed some advice. Besides, he could always refuse to answer.

“So your… boyfriend?... did something stupid. Meaning…” he trailed off, motioning for Maxi to explain.

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Maxi protested automatically. “He cheated.”

Chris frowned. He picked up one slice of pizza and put it on Maxi’s plate (“ _eat up, it’ll help_ ”). He waited until Maxi took a cautious bite before proceeding. “How could he cheat if he wasn’t your boyfriend?”

“Not on me,” Maxi mumbled.

Chris widened his eyes. “Gotcha. Not cool.”

Maxi found that he was actually quite hungry, now that he’d started eating so he picked up another slice of pizza without any prompting from Chris. The guy reminded him of Mick sometimes to the point were it was becoming creepy.

“I like him,” he admitted after a while.

Chris smiled sympathetically. “But you’re afraid,” he added. “I know the feeling,” he said when he saw Maxi’s questioning look.

Maxi pushed his empty plate away and crossed his arms on the table. “I’m afraid he hates me.”

Chris laughed. There was no menace behind it so Maxi didn’t really mind. “He wouldn’t want you to call if he did,” he explained with a smile. “He’s probably beating himself up too and wishing he could change the time or something.”

Maxi bit his lip. He hadn’t really considered how Callum could be feeling. He was too busy, first being angry, then being stressed, and then being miserable.  He felt a pang of guilt.

“I’ll call him,” he decided. “Later.”

“Dutch courage?” Chris guessed.

Maxi shrugged and shook his head. “I just want one drink,” he said. “And to see you dancing,” he added with a smile. Chris dancing was comparable to Charles dancing. Except Chris’s moves were more rhythmical but less coordinated which always gave hilarious results.

Chris stuck his tongue out of him but he was grinning. “You love my dancing.”

 

***

 

It started so innocently, really. With a beer. It ended with Maxi waking up in a bed that certainly wasn’t his, the shorter hand on his watch pointing at four. He had a feeling it wasn’t four in the morning. He gave himself ten minutes to stare at the ceiling, waiting for the world to stop dancing so much. Then with a heavy sigh he forced himself into an upright position. At first he wanted to just leave the room but then he realised he had no clue where he was. So he found his jeans, tugged them on (it took ages) and stumbled to the door.

On the wall next to it, he glimpsed a picture. He stopped to examine it with one hand on the doorknob. _Chris_ … and some little girl Maxi had never seen. It was probably Chris’s little sister whom he wouldn’t shut up about. Okay, so he was in Chris’s room. He could work with that. For a moment he had been afraid he might have ended up in some girl’s bed and that would’ve been bad. And unexpected. Maxi wasn’t the one-night-stand type of guy.

With his stomach turning, he exited the room and found himself in a kitchen-living room thing. Chris was sitting at a small round table next to the fridge, a cup in front of him and his face hidden in his arms. He glanced up when he heard the door open. He looked much worse than Maxi felt.

“Coffee?” He offered, his voice cracking. He grimaced at the sound.

“Bathroom?” Maxi asked. At least he sounded slightly better. Chris pointed at a door across from him. “I don’t think I can stomach it. You have tea?”

Chris nodded, as if he didn’t trust himself with another attempt at speaking. Maxi glimpsed him getting up and putting the kettle on as he locked himself in the bathroom. Some cold water splashed on his face made Maxi feel a bit more awake. When he looked in the mirror, he saw that he did, in fact, look better than Chris.

Chris was back at the table when Maxi came out of the bathroom. There was a steaming mug across from him.

“Do you have any water?” Maxi asked, stopping in the middle of the room.

Chris pointed at the fridge behind himself then took a shaky breath, swallowed with difficulty and hid his face in his hands. Maxi smiled sympathetically even though Chris couldn’t see him. He retrieved one bottle of mineral water from the fridge and drank half of it in one go. His throat felt a bit better, despite the cool temperature.

Maxi flopped down onto the chair opposite Chris with a quiet groan. “How are you?” He asked.

Chris looked up at him and shrugged. Apparently, he decided to stick to the no-speaking rule. Maxi figured it was a good idea if the greenish shade of his face was any indication as to how he was feeling.

Maxi drank his tea in silence. A couple of sips were enough for him to decide he was actually feeling pretty much okay. Despite the mild headache. But he thought it would be better to ignore his stomach demanding food. He wasn’t sure he was quite there yet. Baby steps.

Across from him, Chris was wearily eyeing his own cup of what Maxi assumed was coffee.

“Maybe you should go to bed?” Maxi suggested after a while. “Sleep would do you good,” he added when Chris frowned.

The corners of Chris’s mouth raised a bit but it looked like a grimace more than a smile he had probably been aiming for. “I’m fine, really,” he replied. Then clamped his hand over his mouth with a grimace.

“I’ll go get some painkillers,” Maxi offered, getting off the chair.

Chris nodded before rushing to the bathroom.

Maxi hesitated before deciding Chris could probably be left alone for fifteen minutes and putting on his shoes, which he found in two different parts of the room. Checking that he had his wallet, he threw one more worried glance at the bathroom door and left the flat.

 

***

 

He returned to find Chris bent in half in the bathroom doorway, clutching at his stomach but looking relatively better.

“Your phone won’t stop ringing,” he informed Maxi before disappearing back inside the bathroom.

Maxi went over to the kitchen table where he’d left his phone. There were four missed calls. All of them from Callum. It made Maxi’s stomach do somersaults, this time not due to the alcohol he had drunk the previous night. Before he could make up his mind and decide what he should do, a call came through. From Callum.

Taking a deep breath, Maxi forced himself to press the _accept_ button.

“Hi, Maxi.”

Hearing Callum’s voice for the first time in months made Maxi feel like someone had just poured a bucket of icy water over him. He couldn’t say a word, his throat closing up as all those things he’d been trying to forget came rushing back to him.

“I’ve been meaning to call you for some time,” Callum said, apparently not letting the silence on Maxi’s end put him off. “I think there are some things we need to talk about.”

Maxi swallowed with difficulty. “On the phone?”

_You idiot! Just tell him you’re sorry! What’s wrong with you?_

“Actually,” Callum paused and Maxi imagined him licking his lips as he considered his next words. “You’re in Berlin, right? I could be there in a few hours.”

Maxi felt all the blood rushing away from his face. He wasn’t ready to face Callum. And he wished for nothing more than to see him again. He wasn’t sure what to make of those two contradictory thoughts but he did know what he should do. “I’ll text you the address.”

He was too surprised to even wonder how Callum knew he was in Berlin or how he could be just a few hours from there.


	15. Chapter 15

Maxi refused to leave Chris alone until he made sure the boy was showered and safely tucked in in his bed, two bottles of water and a packet of painkillers on the nightstand. He washed their dirty mugs and then let himself out, locking the door with the spare key Chris had given him. The reality of what he was about to do didn’t hit him until he was walking up the stairs to the tiny flat Rene had offered him. A joined kitchen and bedroom and a small bathroom. It was nothing special and it didn’t feel like home. Probably because it wasn’t. But whenever Maxi found himself hating it, he’d just remind himself he’d be going back soon. As he struggled to push the door open, he finally realised that it wasn’t just some crazy dream. He really was about to see Callum.

He became uncomfortably aware of the last day’s clothes he had on and the way his stomach kept twisting like it wasn’t sure what it wanted. He glanced towards the cooker but then decided to avoid food at least for now and start with a shower. Or better still, a bath. The last time he did that must have been back in Munich. He didn’t know how much time exactly was  _ a few hours _ but he hoped he still had some left. He wondered briefly what Callum was doing close to Berlin but then he decided the bigger thing to worry about for the time being was figuring out what to say. He needed to apologise. And if he kept apologising for… say,  the rest of the century, Callum might even forgive him.

He made a mess as he was undressing and didn’t even care that much. It was maybe a bit hot for a bath but Maxi didn’t care. He sank deeper into the steaming water with a sigh. He let himself freely think about Callum for the first time in what felt like forever. He didn’t want to get ahead of himself but he couldn’t stop the hope from blooming in his chest. He was going to see Callum. He was going to apologise. And, with any luck, Callum might even forgive him. Maybe they could be friends. They had never quite managed that before but  _ maybe _ .

Freshly-shaved and smelling of shower gel, he felt a bit more human when he reentered his bedroom. He picked up his clothes from the floor and threw them into the washing machine and then looked for some clean ones in his suitcase. He only realised how long he’d been in that bath when he saw the clock in his phone. Ninety minutes was a long time but he’d done worse. It wasn’t the end of the world. Mick and Charles had the ability to take  _ showers _ for that long. Separately. 

Maxi forcefully pushed away the thought of what Mick and Charles got up to in a shower. His eyes fell on the fridge but he quickly decided against eating anything. He didn’t think it was the hangover anymore. More likely the stress. Per usual, the waiting was (hopefully) worse than the thing he was waiting for. In his case - meeting Callum.

He found himself dialing Mick’s number before he even realised he’d been meaning to do that. The call went to voicemail. As did the next one. In his desperation he even tried Charles’s phone but it turned out to be switched off. With a heavy sigh, Maxi fell back against the uncomfortable bed. He sent a text to Chris, asking him how he was doing and reminding him to eat something (he knew he needed to practice what he preached but then decided he had a good reason not to) and then must have drifted off, somehow, despite the anxiety. The next thing he knew, someone was knocking on his door.

In his sleepy state, he didn’t put the facts together. He was genuinely surprised to see Callum standing on the corridor, smiling at him shyly. But the shock passed way too quickly and suddenly he found himself searching desperately for words. 

“Can I come in?” Callum asked. He was looking at Maxi with something resembling concern. “You don’t look well.”

Maxi stepped aside to let him through. He got the ridiculous urge to touch him just to check if he was really there and not one of those dreams that would be haunting Maxi for days to come. He looked more tanned than the last time Maxi had seen him and like he’d just come back from holidays. Relaxed, somehow  _ lighter _ . Maxi felt almost jealous of that. 

“I’m sorry.” Maxi didn’t know where it came from but his mouth just spontaneously decided to say those words without any input from his brain. But it was enough for him to just start talking, with no ability to shut up. “I know I was a dick and that a simple  _ sorry _ won’t cut it but I really don’t know how to apologise to you. I had been meaning to text you-”

“Maxi,” Callum interrupted him, “I get it.”

“You do?”

Callum laughed but there was no mirth behind it. “I do. I’m not a saint, you know.”

Maxi decided to change the subject before the conversation could get  _ too _ uncomfortable. “What are you doing here anyway?”

“I had to get some stuff from ou- your flat. Didn’t Mick tell you?” He asked when Maxi widened his eyes at him.

“Mick?” He repeated dumbly.

Callum raised an eyebrow and mumbled something which sounded like  _ coward _ . 

“Are you ill?”

One simple question but, paired with the concern in Callum’s eyes, it was enough for Maxi to spontaneously decide to tell him  _ everything _ . He let Callum lead him over to the bed and run a comforting hand up and down his shoulder as Maxi struggled to express just how shitty the past few months had been. And how much he hated himself and how he had been meaning to apologise for months but couldn’t find the right words. He talked about getting the job and making friends with Chris, until he got to the previous night when he accidentally got drunk. He even confessed that he’d been having dreams about Callum.

Callum didn’t interrupt, his eyes never leaving Maxi’s face, even when the German looked away to stare at the floor. 

“Have you eaten anything?” Callum asked softly. 

Maxi looked up in shock. This wasn’t what he’d been expecting. He had thought Callum would be… angry? sad? upset? And instead he just took everything Maxi told him in and carried on as if nothing had happened. 

Maxi shook his head.

“Would toasts be okay? I don’t know how your stomach is after the night before. Maybe eggs?”

Maxi had to dig his fingers into his own thighs and take measured breath so that the tears suddenly welling up in his eyes wouldn’t spill onto his cheeks. What had he ever done to deserve Callum?

Callum’s voice when he said his name was softer than Maxi remembered. “It’s fine.”

“Why aren’t you mad?” He asked, looking at Callum like he was expecting him to lash out at any moment.

Callum sighed. With one last squeeze to Maxi’s shoulder he got up. Maxi expected him to just walk out and never come back. Instead, he made his way to the small fridge and opened it to examine its contents. Maxi knew it was almost empty - he hadn’t really been taking care of himself as he should have been - but Callum would probably be able to find something eatable.

“I’ve thought about it a lot. And I don’t really have a reason to be mad,” he said quietly, opening every cupboard, one after another until he found a frying pan. The way he seemed to feel so immediately at home made Maxi’s heart speed up. “Is it so hard to believe?” He asked, as if sensing Maxi’s disbelief.

Maxi snorted. “Yes.”

Callum looked at him over his shoulder from where he was breaking the eggs onto the pan. “Are you angry with me?”

“No,” Maxi exclaimed without having taken even a second to consider it.

Callum turned back to the cooker. “In that case, you need to stop being so hard on yourself.”

Maxi watched Callum in silence, considering his words. Callum didn’t seem to mind, not saying anything until he handed Maxi a plate of scrambled eggs. 

“Sleep on it if you have to.”

Maxi didn’t think it was necessary. He would just end up running in circles, repeating the same old things to himself. It was his brain against his heart and Maxi didn’t know which would win in the end. He needed Callum. That part hadn’t changed one bit. But there was something holding him back.

“I…” Callum started speaking but then frowned and decided against it. He leaned back in his chair, looking away from Maxi. “Mick’s been trying to convince me to talk to you for weeks,” was what he finally settled for.

Maxi widened his eyes. “Mick?  _ My _ Mick?”

Callum shrugged. There was a blush on his cheeks. He hesitated but then admitted that he’d spent the past few weeks with Mick and Charles. Maxi decided he’d dwell on that later. Preferably once he had Mick in his arm’s reach so that he could strangle him. Or maybe hug him, he hadn’t decided yet.

“I thought he’s told you.”

Maxi frowned at him. “Before you left he wanted me to tell-” he trailed off, wondering if he’d said too much. “He wanted me to talk to you,” he corrected himself. 

Callum gave him a weird look but didn’t say anything about Maxi’s stuttering. “I wanted to text you,” he said, keeping his eyes fixed on Maxi’s, “but you seemed quite… tense… when I left. I thought I shouldn’t bother you.”

Maxi’s heart ached when he remembered the last month with Callum and how he basically ignored the Brit. “Mick was so mad, he wouldn’t talk to me for  _ weeks _ ,” he confessed, looking down at his half-empty plate. 

“Do you think we can at least be friends again?” Callum asked quietly after a long while.

_ Have we ever been that? _

Maxi gaped at him. It didn’t sound like Callum hated him, after all. “You seriously want to be friends with me?”

“I like you.”

It was one sentence but it took Maxi’s breath away. It wasn’t the words themselves. It was the look in Callum’s eyes as he said them. Maxi didn’t think he meant that in a very  _ friendly _ way.

“Sure,” he croaked out. Then, before he could say too much, shoved a forkful of eggs into his mouth, not even caring how his stomach would react to it.

“Are you not feeling okay?” Callum was staring at him with a concerned expression. Maxi wondered what he must have looked like in that moment. “Here, I’ll make you some tea.”

Maxi still hadn’t thought of anything to say as Callum placed two steaming mugs on the bedside table. They drank their tea in silence. Callum seemed to assume Maxi was feeling sick so he didn’t bother him. He just stood there, glancing at him from time to time.

“I think I should go,” Callum said, staring at the rest of his cold tea swirling around at the bottom of his mug.

Maxi frowned at him. “You sure that’s a good idea? It must be very late. And you look tired,” he added.

“Nothing a hot meal and a comfortable bed wouldn’t fix,” Callum assured Maxi. The German didn’t fail to notice that he omitted the fact that he probably had neither readily available.

“Shall I walk you?” Maxi asked him. Before Callum could answer, he carried on. “Though I don’t know if I should go out now.” He stared at Callum intently, chewing on his bottom lip. “You know, I have a bath” he offered. “And I don’t mind sharing the bed. It’s not as comfortable as the one back home but it’s bearable.” His cheeks turned pink when he realised he was telling Callum they should sleep in the same bed. “I can lend you some clothes too,” he added when he saw Callum opening his mouth. He could see Callum’s resolve breaking. He didn’t know where the sudden urge to keep Callum in that flat came from. But Maxi was reluctant to let him just walk away, as if he’d disappear or realise that he wanted nothing to do with him.

“You don’t mind?” Callum asked.

“I asked, didn’t I?” 

Callum laughed. “I’ve deja vu,” he said. Then, to Maxi’s great relief he nodded. “Let me get my bags,” he said with a sigh. When Callum came back with two suitcases (“ _ don’t feel like leaving anything valuable in the car _ ”), Maxi still hadn’t managed to get the wide smile off his face. 

They didn’t get a lot of sleep that night, staying up until the dawn started breaking. It felt so good to sit next to Callum, the blanket tossed over their laps and their shoulders and legs brushing. They talked about everything and nothing, just catching up. Callum told him stories about what Mick and Charles got up to (“ _ you try driving when they’re doing god knows what in the back seat _ ”) and how much fun it had been to go on holidays with them. He mentioned having dropped out of the university too, but it was so brief Maxi barely noticed.

“I’ve missed you,” Maxi found himself confessing, sleep-deprived and carelessly happy.

Surprise flitted across Callum’s face before he smiled softly. “I’ve missed you too.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm tentatively - tentatively! - going to suggest that this could be the penultimate chapter. Or maybe third to last. I don't think there'll be more than that though  
> Also, I'm fairly sure there's at least one typo in this one but I can't find it right now

_Friends, my arse_ , Maxi thought as Callum shoved at his jeans, trying to push them down his hips. Two days. That’s how long they’d managed to pretend they didn’t want to fuck against the closest flat surface each time they were in the same room. Two fucking days. But it felt so good to have Callum touching him again. Maxi remembered suddenly how he hadn’t had sex in over three months.

“Wanna blow you,” Callum gasped out against his lips as he finally managed to get his trousers down his thighs. Maxi held his breath, watching Callum get down on his knees without waiting for a reply. They were blissfully alone and Maxi couldn’t even bring himself to feel guilty about having left Chris alone at the party. They’d left early. So early it could even be seen as rude.

Maxi had no clue whose party it was or even _where_ it was. It was some club. But it was located in a part of Berlin Maxi hadn’t been to yet. And if he was being honest, he didn’t really feel like visiting ever again. With Callum’s shoulder brushing against his though, it was rather difficult to care. If they were going to get mugged or killed, at least it’d be in good company, right?

He had known something was going to happen. Callum didn’t touch alcohol the whole evening. And as the time went on, he was dancing closer to Maxi, eventually ending up grinding against him. Maxi didn’t know which one of them started this, thought it might have been him, but then they were kissing in the middle of the dancefloor. Callum’s hips were still moving against his own but nobody could call it _dancing_ anymore, even though there certainly was a rhythm to it. Which had absolutely nothing to do with the beat of the song.

Thankfully, Maxi had just enough self-control left to drag himself away from Callum and not fuck him in the middle of the packed out club.

An hour later, Maxi was sure he’d made the right choice. He had Callum underneath him, gasping his name and digging his fingers into Maxi’s back. Maxi hadn’t realised how much he’d missed that. Not the sex. _Callum_. Everything about him. Even those little things that drove him up the wall.

It was really difficult not to say something reckless with his brain so hazy from pleasure. There were three words on the tip of his tongue, so he reminded himself to keep kissing Callum and not say anything. His lips trailed down the side of Callum’s neck when Callum pulled away to gasp for breath.

“ _Fuck_.” Callum’s moan trailed off into a soft laugh. “Missed you,” he whispered breathlessly as Maxi groaned low in his throat, hiding his face against Callum’s shoulder, his movement jerky all of a sudden.

“This was unexpected,” Maxi muttered later, rolling onto his back next to Callum.

Callum laughed. Maxi got the impression he was the only one who hadn’t thought the night would this way.

“So,” Callum started, watching Maxi with his bottom lip between his teeth.

“Nope.” Maxi shook his head. “No talking about anything after sex. My brain’s melted into a puddle.”

He knew what it’d be like. All he wanted in that moment was to have Callum next to him. And he needed a clear head. Despite what Mick liked to constantly remind him of, his own feelings weren’t the only thing he needed to consider.

Callum chuckled and nodded. “Can we cuddle, though?” He asked after thinking about it for a second.

Instead of answering, Maxi wrapped his arm around Callum and let him settle comfortably against his chest.

 

***

 

Having sex with Callum brought back memories and Maxi knew he had a sleepless night ahead of him. Callum was breathing evenly, his head pillowed over Maxi’s sternum and Maxi watched him with a soft smile. It’d been such a long time since he last had Callum like this. And he’d missed it. He had been kind of (foolishly) hoping they could be friends. But he realised that there was no way to do that. He’d either have Callum completely, just the way he’d wanted to for months, or not at all.

The second thought broke his heart. He had been forced to live without Callum for over a month and it was hell. He never wanted to go through that again. Sure, it probably _would_ get better but why would he do that to himself? To both of them. At least, he hoped that Callum had missed him just as much.

On the other hand… well, he still hadn’t _quite_ managed to forget that Callum had lied to him. And pretended he didn’t have a girlfriend. Even though Maxi didn’t think Callum would ever cheat on him but he was still feeling nauseous with uncertainty.  What if he did? What if Maxi did something stupid? What if it all ended in screaming and crying and they’d hate each other for the rest of their lives? What if…?

 _You think too much_ , Mick’s words rang in his head. He probably had a point there, Maxi decided. He looked down at Callum sleeping peacefully, draped over his chest, and his heart seemed to grow twice as big. Apparently, he didn’t let his concerns get to him the way Maxi did. He could just relax and allow himself a short moment of happiness.

Maxi closed his eyes and let Callum’s even breathing lull him to sleep, his arms wrapped securely around the Brit.

 

***

 

The next morning Maxi woke up to Callum bustling about the kitchen with a wide smile on his face.

“I think we should do it properly,” he said, not even giving Maxi a chance to come to himself.

Maxi narrowed his eyes at him, struggling to comprehend what he meant in his half-asleep state. The Brit was avoiding his eyes, but his cheeks were a bit too pink for him to look casual. Even if he hadn’t been fiddling with a spoon.

“Do what properly?” Maxi asked.

Callum bit his lip, shifting his weight from on foot to the other. “Dating?” He muttered so quietly Maxi wasn’t sure if he'd understood him right. Callum cleared his throat and finally looked up, meeting Maxi’s curious eyes. “Dating,” he repeated, this time firmly. “We’ve never really got a chance to do that.”

Maxi got the impression Callum had to force himself not to start rambling about how they didn’t have to and it was just a suggestion. But he kept quiet. And he didn’t let himself avert his gaze.

Maxi considered it for a moment. There was some part of him, urging him to refuse. He didn’t know why it was there but it was annoyingly persistent.

Callum looked like he was about to reach the shade of red usually reserved for ripe tomatoes.

“So what you’re saying,” Maxi began, as Callum turned back to the cooker, “is that you want to… be with me?” He asked, feeling that he’s very likely to match Callum’s blush soon.

“Yeah, I guess, I am.”

Maxi smiled at Callum’s back. Date Callum - actually _date_ him. It was such an odd thought which Maxi had let himself entertain a long time ago. Not only date him. Be in a _relationship_ with him.

“I’m going back to Munich in two weeks,” Maxi reminded him. He didn’t know why he’d said that. When he looked back up, Callum was frowning at him. He looked almost hurt and Maxi was reminded once again what it felt like to hate yourself.

“And I was supposed to go back home yesterday.” He paused, turning the cooker off and walking across the room to sit down on the bed next to Maxi. “If you don’t want to be with me, you can just say so, you know.”

Maxi gaped at him. Didn’t Callum realise how that was the one thing Maxi wanted… Okay, so to be frank maybe not what he wanted _the_ most but it still came pretty high.

But relationships didn’t work out. People grew apart. Situations changed, as did feelings, and someone could get seriously hurt. It was Maxi’s last year at the university. He needed to keep his attention focused. He wouldn’t have time for being in a relationship. And then Callum would think he didn’t care and leave him.

These thoughts had always been there, Maxi knew that. They’d been hiding at the back of his mind because Callum made him feel so secure and carefreely happy. Until Maxi found out it had been a lie. That was the moment those thoughts appeared and hadn’t left his consciousness ever since. He couldn’t let himself be distracted, he just couldn’t.

Callum went from looking hurt to looking genuinely concerned and Maxi realised he hadn’t said anything.

“Let’s go for a walk,” Callum said suddenly. He picked up some clothes from the ground and threw them at Maxi. Maxi thought about resisting but there was something in the way Callum was holding himself which told him protesting would probably lead to a major argument. Besides, Rene had given him a day off anyway so he didn’t really have anything better to do.

Some girl winked at Maxi as they were leaving the building. Maxi felt Callum shaking where their shoulders were pressed together. Then he remembered how that laughter sounded when Callum was breathless and dizzy from his orgasm and went red.

Callum gave him a knowing look. He smiled for a second but then seemed to remember that they were in the middle of a conversation. “What’s up?” He asked as they slowly made their way down the street.

Maxi narrowed his eyes at him. “What do you mean?”

Callum sighed. “Something’s wrong. I wish you’d tell me what.”

“There’s nothing to tell,” Maxi insisted.

“So you just don’t want us to be together?” Callum asked casually like he was just wondering what taste of ice cream Maxi preferred.

Maxi turned to stare at him. He felt almost angry that Callum would suggest something like that.

Callum raised an eyebrow. “So there _is_ something wrong.”

Maxi didn’t say anything.

“Maxi, I’m begging you.” There was something desperate in Callum’s tone. Maxi had the silly idea that it was almost as if Callum could sense how much he was hurting to the point where he felt the pain himself. “I get it if you feel like you can’t trust me but-”

“I trust you,” Maxi interrupted him quickly. And promptly wondered if he’d just told a lie.

They’d stopped walking and stood in the middle of the street, facing each other.

“You don’t,” Callum said with a sad smile. “Not quite, at least. But I've deserved that.”

Maxi looked down at the dirty pavement.

“I really want to make it work,” Callum said, wrapping his fingers around Maxi’s wrist. He waited, trying to gauge Maxi’s reaction but when the German just stood there, gaping at him, Callum gathered his courage and took Maxi’s hand in his.

Maxi went red. They’d had sex. Multiple times. And hand holding was what got Maxi all flustered. He thought he should have maybe broken the contact but Callum’s palm felt so good against his, like it was meant to be there.

“Can we at least _try_?” Callum asked. “Just take it one step at a time. I don’t think there’s one single thing I could do so that you’d trust me. But I swear that from now on I’ll tell you everything.”

Maxi felt a bit choked up and it was unfair how Callum could get that reaction from him so easily. Callum just cared so much. Maxi didn’t know what to do with that.

“I’m afraid,” he muttered quickly before he could change his mind. “This is my last year and I’m going to be constantly studying. I can’t be in a relationship.” He wanted to say so much more but the way Callum was watching him made his skin prickle uncomfortably. “I don’t want to make any promises to you I know I can’t keep,” he added.

“Is that really what this is about?”

Maxi shrugged, finally letting go of Callum’s hand so that he could cross his arms on his chest. “Partly.”

“Don’t make any promises,” Callum said like it was the most obvious thing in the whole world. “I’m not saying you should sleep around. But I really don’t need you to make any promises.”

Maxi thought there was an implied _not yet_ somewhere in there but he didn’t say anything about it. “I don’t know if I can make enough time for a relationship right now.” He realised it sounded like he was trying to come up with excuses for not being with Callum, when in reality he was genuinely scared of fucking it up.

Callum shook his head. “Then don’t think about it like that. Think of it more… like a friendship.”

“What?”

“You’re friends with Mick, right? And you’re not afraid he’ll just up and leave.”

Maxi widened his eyes when he realised Callum knew what was bothering him the most. But he had genuinely no clue where Callum thought he was going with it.

“And since we’re here, still talking and not trying to kill each other despite all the shit that’s happened, I’m assuming we can be friends too.”

Maxi frowned. “Relationships take more work than _that_ ,” he said when he’d finally got what Callum was trying to tell him.

Callum sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “Technically, yes,” he agreed. “But they really don’t have to.”

Maxi didn’t know what he was supposed to reply to that. Callum was right. Partly right, at least. Maxi knew that a friendship and a relationship weren’t the same thing. And it wasn’t just about sex. Maxi and Mick had made out once, what felt like ages ago, and yet Maxi never thought of being _with_ Mick.

Friendships were easy. Friends were the people who knew you inside out and stuck by your side anyway, no matter what. The _you have a body, I have a shovel, so let’s get to work before the police arrive_ kind of devotion. Mick would roll his eyes and tell Maxi he was an idiot _while_ helping him out of whatever mess he’d managed to get himself into.

In a relationship it was always a conscious effort to keep things from falling apart. It was the remembering to always say the right thing and to wear nice clothes and _not_ ignore someone because he was too busy studying. That was actually the main reason most of his secondary school relationships failed. Mick could handle Maxi not giving a sign of life for weeks, he’d even bring him food and so on. A girlfriend couldn’t.

“I really lo- _like_ you,” Callum said, his cheeks turning scarlet suddenly. “But it looks like you don’t feel the same way about me.”

“Of course I do,” Maxi exclaimed. He was mad at himself. He knew he was probably making it harder than it had to be but he couldn’t control that anxiety he was feeling. He was terrified of being vulnerable and then having his heart broken. Or, what sounded even worse, of breaking Callum’s heart. Which… he probably was kind of doing. Was there no way to win?

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he admitted. He couldn’t look Callum in the eye as he said that but then he _needed_ to see his reaction so he forced himself to at least take a glance.

Callum smiled at him sadly. “You kind of are right now,” he said.

Maxi closed his eyes and took a sharp breath. He didn’t hear Callum come closer. His eyes opened wide when he felt Callum running his fingers over the top of his hand. Callum leaned in but Maxi took a step back. It wasn’t fair! He couldn’t think clearly when Callum did that.

“Do you want to be alone?”

_God, no…_

“Yes.”

Callum nodded, even though Maxi could tell he didn’t quite buy it. “I’ll go. But… please think about what I’ve said. Oh, and Maxi?” He added, turning around where he’d taken several steps in the direction of Maxi’s flat. “You don’t really have to be perfect all the time. You’re allowed to make mistakes, you know.”

Maxi stood there for a long time with his hands in his pockets, thinking about how Callum could get right to what was really bothering him, when even Maxi himself had no idea what it was.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is (finally) it. I think the ending has dragged on for too long now anyway. But this has been much more fun than I expected

It wasn’t all that difficult to convince Callum to stay a bit longer. Which meant two weeks until the time Maxi was supposed to go back to Munich. It was weird but not in the uncomfortable way and Maxi found himself wishing they weren’t in Berlin but back home so that they could spend the whole day lying in bed, doing whatever they wanted and not caring that Mick could hear them. On the topic of Mick, from what Maxi had heard, he was doing great on his own. It made Maxi indescribably anxious and worried about the state he’d find their flat in upon his return.

Actually, it was mostly thanks to Callum’s parents that Callum stayed. (“ _ Do you think they’re trying to get rid of me? They said a change of scenery would do me some good when Mick was trying to convince me to join him and Charles too. _ ”) Maxi found he wasn’t as surprised as he maybe should have been when Callum announced he had dropped out of the university. This time the message was clear and impossible to miss. But he not-so-subtly avoided all Maxi’s questions of the  _ so what’s the plan now _ kind so Maxi learnt not to ask.

 

***

 

Chris brought up the topic of the  _ night when they got absolutely wasted _ , as Maxi liked to think of it, once. Maxi was in the middle of working on an old Opel which was practically falling apart right before his eyes when he realised it was unusually quiet. 

“What is it?” He asked without turning around to look at Chris.

“Do you think we fucked?”

Maxi would have slammed his head against the open bonnet in front of him if he hadn’t suspected it could fall off the car, giving him even more work. He settled for rolling his eyes instead. “Please, tell me you haven’t been wondering about that for the past week.”

When he only got some more silence in reply, Maxi finally tore himself away from the car and turned around to take a good look at Chris.

“It’s a valid question,” Chris exclaimed. He crossed his arms on his chest and pouted. He looked so much like a little kid Maxi couldn’t help laughing. 

He walked the few steps forward until he could pat Chris’s shoulder. He rested back against the bonnet of some Toyota and smiled at Chris. “You’ve been wondering if we had sex for the past week,” he said, as if trying to make sure he’d got it right.

“You haven’t?”

Maxi raised an eyebrow. Chris’s pout deepened.

“We were drunk,” he said, coming up to Maxi to sit next to him. “People do weird things when they’re drunk.”

Maxi narrowed his eyes at him. “You sound like you wish we had.” 

Chris went red and didn’t reply. Finally, he shrugged. “Not that I fancy you or anything. Sure, you’re very attractive but… I mean… Everyone should have one drunken fling, right?”

Maxi started laughing uncontrollably, shaking his head. Some other guys paused to glance at him but then quickly went back to work when they noticed Chris next to Maxi. Slightly unusual things happening around Chris stopped being unusual. 

It took several minutes until Maxi had managed to somewhat calm down, red-faced and struggling to catch his breath, as he wiped some tears from the corner of his eye. He patted Chris’s arm again and pushed himself off the car. “I think I’ll just leave you to decide if we did or didn’t have sex,” he said. “But, Chris?” 

Chris glanced up at him with an expression like he was thinking about something intently.

“No matter what people tell you,” Maxi said, “don’t  _ ever _ change, okay?”

That conclusion seemed to satisfy Chris since he never brought it up again. And Maxi decided, for the sake of his sanity, not to ask him which version he’d settled for.

 

***

 

On Maxi’s last day in Berlin, Chris took him out for a beer (it was actually just one beer) and then clang to him the whole evening. Maxi kept throwing nervous glances at Callum, who’d tagged along, but the Brit just laughed. Chris made Maxi promise to at least text him from time to time and it was the one promise Maxi happily made. He’d grown rather attached to the guy. He’d even learnt to like his odd saxon-swiss-berlin accent. Maxi had asked about that, obviously, it wouldn’t stop bugging him. He’d accidently found out half of Chris’s life story when he did but he didn’t mind that much. It made working even nicer.

With one last hug - which lasted five minutes, mind you - Chris said goodbye to them and went back home. Callum put his arm around Maxi’s waist as they walked back to Maxi’s flat slowly. Maxi wondered if Callum could tell how much that gesture affected him. 

“Is this okay?” Callum asked.

Maxi didn’t say anything. He just wrapped his arm around Callum’s shoulders and pulled him closer. When they were like this… Maxi actually believed that maybe they really could make this work. Somehow. But he was far from Callum’s carefree optimism. It was one of the things Callum and Mick shared and which Maxi was extremely jealous of. Whenever he let himself be, that is. 

There was nothing wrong with realism, Maxi actually liked that about himself. This ability not to let his dreams take over his life. But sometimes he thought that maybe it’d be easier to just let everything go. Just truly believe that he could fuck up and the world wouldn’t tumble down, that he could not give a shit sometimes, and that everything would work out anyway. It sounded so easy.

Callum teased him about his new boyfriend and Maxi felt another pang of jealousy. Callum seemed so at ease and sure of what they were doing. Maxi felt like he’d just been thrown into the middle of an ocean with no lifebelt and no idea where the land was. He didn’t even feel like he could tease Callum about anything, let alone about some guy clinging to him for hours. 

Callum hadn’t tried to get Maxi to make up his mind faster. He’d stayed away. Maxi lasted all of two days before realising he was being an idiot once again and calling Callum up where he was staying in some hotel. He still wasn’t convinced about Callum’s idea but it was a solution and he’d take that over not having Callum anytime. He just doubted Callum would want to stick around when he realised Maxi would soon get sucked into the studying and trying not to panic whenever he remembered it was the last year. 

Callum stopped walking and took his arm off Maxi so that he could press a kiss to his cheek. In the middle of the street. Where there were people. Maxi didn’t think it should make him feel this happy but he wanted to push Callum against the closest wall and snog the hell out of him.

“Stop  _ thinking _ ,” Callum whispered into his ear and Maxi nodded. Callum pulled at his hand, making him walk again.

“Can I stay the night?” Callum asked casually but the grip he had on Maxi’s hand tightened.

They hadn’t had sex since that time at the party. Maxi wasn’t sure if that was what Callum was suggesting. He could have meant watching TV Maxi didn’t have or talking. Maybe he just wanted to sleep in the same bed one more time before they said goodbye for God knows how long. But Maxi knew sex was probably what Callum was thinking of. 

“I was hoping you would.” It was an act of bravery, Maxi still hadn’t let himself be too vulnerable. But the radiant smile it put on Callum’s face was totally worth it.

It might have been what made Maxi find the strength to take the initiative for once. He locked the door to his flat and kissed Callum. 

He felt the Brit smiling against his lips.

_ God, I love you so much _

He kissed Callum harder and tried not to think about anything. Just let his mind go blank and be as carelessly happy as Callum seemed to be. Just for one night. He focused on Callum pressing himself closer to his body and his hands gripping the back of Maxi’s neck.

“Will you fuck me?” Callum asked him when Maxi moved back to step out of his shoes and get his wallet and phone out of his pockets. Callum was biting his lip and watching him with wide eyes, like he wasn’t sure what reaction he should be expecting.

“You mean…?” 

Callum nodded. 

Maxi inhaled sharply. It would’ve been a lie to say Maxi had never thought about this before. Especially after the first time when he’d seen Callum’s arse in those jeans and his hips moving. But he’d let himself fantasise about it earlier than that. The two of them used to share a bed, it was really difficult not to think those things. Maxi remembered the long hours he’d spend in the shower, wishing he had enough courage to actually  _ ask _ Callum about it. He never got round to it though with all the mess they somehow managed to get themselves into.

At a loss for words, Maxi settled for gripping Callum’s hips tightly and kissing him again. Callum didn’t protest, didn’t push for an actual  _ verbal _ answer. He slipped his hands under Maxi’s T-shirt, stroking his fingers over his abs and making Maxi press their hips closer together.

With the way his thoughts were going, it wasn’t a big surprise when Maxi found himself moving his hands, sliding them back Callum’s body until he could grip his arse. Callum gasped against his lips when Maxi slipped his hands into his back pockets.

“Naked,  _ now _ ,” Callum said with a small laugh and Maxi wouldn’t dream of arguing.

He lay down on the bed with his back against the headboard and watched Callum  undress, having taken something out of his jeans pocket. It quickly became apparent what it was when the condom was dropped onto the mattress next to Maxi’s shoulder unceremoniously.

“Have you planned this?” Maxi asked with a smirk.

Callum shrugged. “Not really.”

Maxi was going to tease him but Callum moved to straddle him on the bed and Maxi forgot how speech worked. And then Callum leaned down to kiss him, palms flat on Maxi’s shoulders, effectively preventing him from letting something idiotic slip out.

Maxi ran his hands down Callum’s back, letting them settle on his arse. Callum made an appreciative sound and rocked his hips forward, his erection brushing against Maxi’s stomach. It’d been way too long. Maxi couldn’t remember anymore how he had managed without Callum for so long when a fortnight felt like years. And he knew this would be the last time for god knows how long. He wanted it to be good.

Callum kissed his way down Maxi’s body, making the German tangle his fingers in the sheets as he watched. But then he reminded himself that he was about to be  _ inside _ Callum and that thought alone made him desperate. So he pushed at Callum’s shoulders to get him to sit up straight. 

Callum sent him a questioning look but then seemed to understand. He got off Maxi to lay down on his back next to him. Maxi took the unspoken invitation and settled on his knees between Callum’s spread thighs. This was nothing new, they’d done that much before. And yet, the anticipation of what was yet to come made Maxi’s skin prickle. 

He leaned down to kiss along Callum’s collarbone, enjoying the way it made Callum’s breath hitch. He felt Callum running his fingers through his hair. He didn’t bother drawing it out. As fun as teasing Callum could be, Maxi felt unusually impatient. 

Callum was surprised when Maxi just went straight to wrapping his lips around his erection but he didn’t seem to mind. “Eager, aren’t we?” He laughed breathlessly. Then Maxi swirled his tongue over the tip and Callum’s laughter trailed off into a moan.

As he pushed two fingers into Callum several minutes later, it still was nothing new. He’d done that before. Maybe not often but Callum seemed to love it. So Maxi would sometimes finger him as he sucked the Brit off, or when Callum was dry humping his thigh. Callum was as responsive as always, if not more, spreading his thighs even wider apart and clutching at Maxi’s shoulders, trying to pull him down for a kiss.

Maxi leaned down, fingers still moving and pressed their lips together, enjoying the way Callum was breathing heavily. Callum broke the kiss with a gasp as Maxi pushed another finger inside him. He didn’t pause to ask Callum if he was okay, he could see Callum was much more than that. His hips were rocking up, trying to find some friction and Maxi decided to humour him, giving his cock a few loose strokes as he slipped his fingers out. Callum whined but then seemed to realise Maxi was about to fuck him and didn’t say anything.

Maxi couldn’t tell which one of them was more overwhelmed as he finally pushed into Callum, unable to suppress a low groan at how good it felt.

Callum inhaled sharply, bottom lip between his teeth. 

“You okay?” Maxi asked, ceasing his movements, despite the way his hips just wanted to push forward, deeper into the tight heat.

“Keep going,” Callum gasped out, fingers digging into Maxi’s shoulders when the German complied, not stopping until he bottomed out. “You’ve no idea what this feels like,” Callum said, eyes closed and a crease between his brows.

Maxi thought the same was true for Callum because finally being inside him felt better than Maxi could have ever imagined. 

“Good?” He asked.

Callum opened his eyes and smiled. “Amazing.”

Maxi was struggling to control himself. He wanted to give Callum time to get used to the sensation but his body just wanted him to do  _ something _ . “I need-”

Callum nodded, not even waiting for him to finish the sentence.

At first, Maxi’s movements were tentative. He was carefully trying to gauge Callum’s reaction. But when Callum started rocking his hips up to meet his thrusts, quietly urging Maxi to go faster, Maxi complied more than happily. And was very pleased to find that Callum could be really loud. Maybe he should have been worried about whether his neighbours could hear them but it was really hard to care about anything when Callum was moaning his name breathlessly.

He didn’t pull out immediately afterwards despite Callum’s cum slowly drying on both their chests and Maxi’s fingers. Callum was laughing breathlessly, struggling to get enough air. Maxi pressed kisses down the side of his neck as he pulled out, making Callum cringe a bit. 

“I feel so empty now,” he complained, shifting his hips against the mattress. 

Maxi made a whining sound. If Callum went on saying shit like that, Maxi couldn’t be held responsible for his actions. He kind of wanted to shower but it felt like his muscles had stopped working so he decided to wait. For now he was content with cuddling up closer to Callum and kissing him softly.

“Do you really think we can make this work?” Maxi whispered against Callum’s shoulder. He raised his head to be able to watch Callum’s face as he answered.

“Only one way to find out,” Callum replied slowly, studying Maxi carefully. Maxi wondered what Callum was expecting to find there. “But, yes, I do.”

Maxi considered his next words for a moment. “My boyfriend’s an incorrigible optimist,” he said, shaking his head mock-disapprovingly.

Callum rolled his eyes. “It’s…” Then the sense of that sentence seemed to finally get to him and he trailed off.

_ Boyfriend _

Maxi had to bite the inside of his cheek to stop himself from laughing at the expression on Callum’s face. He was gaping at the ceiling, opening and closing his mouth. 

“Maxi… Do you know what you’ve just said?” He asked, turning to stare at Maxi with wide eyes.

Maxi raised an eyebrow, trying to maintain his best  _ innocent _ expression. Which was difficult with a huge grin threatening to spread on his lips.

Callum said his name again, this time with much more emotion behind it. And then Maxi was being pushed onto his back as Callum climbed on top of him, trying to kiss him which wasn’t very easy with both of them laughing.

“You’re sticky!” Maxi laughed.

“Don’t care,” Callum replied with a grin, kissing Maxi again.

It wasn’t perfect. And they knew it wouldn’t be easy. But, maybe for the first time in his life, Maxi was genuinely willing to just let go of all his doubts and do what he wanted to do. Especially with Callum so close to him, whispering how much he liked him and how happy he was. Because Maxi realised that seeing that smile on Callum’s face was worth so much more than doing the right thing.


End file.
